The Good news is we know where he is...the bad news....

The good news is, we finally know where the "button" is.  The bad news is...he is in summer camp.  Again.

Nobody got hurt and nobody died.  We are not waiting for a kidney.  Everyone lived.

Here is the bottom line, my son has a pretty serious substance abuse problem.  We have known this.

If my kids were hungry, I would steal for them to feed them if needed.  If they were cold, I would find them warmth.  They are my babies.  They love me.  It is my job to take care of them.

When you have a substance abuse problem, that is the most important relationship that you have.  Your substance of choice gives you euphoria and makes you feel good.  It is your happy, best friend.  It doesn't talk bag or nag, it makes you feel good and feel good often.  It is your baby.  You steal for it, whatever. 

If you don't have a problem, you don't get.  You are left dumbfounded.  You question it.  "Nice kid, clean cut, happy, respectul...."

I am fine.  Franklin is fine.  Yes, I told the kids.  Good news is I have a new job.  Bad news is, it is at a television station and it made the news.  I had to tell the kids.  The only question they really had, "are you going to take him books?" 

The answer, "No."

We are fine.  Disappointed beyond measure.  Confused beyond measure.  Sad.  Sad is really the best word.

But, we are fine.  WE have hearts at peace. 

The good news is, I learned about having a heart and peace.  We are a family at peace and no longer at war.
I have faith that this is in God's hands and He has a plan for the "button" that we don't know about yet.
I have a husband and we are united and we know that inside our child there are seeds of greatness.  Our son just has a serious drought problem now.  And I have wiser children at home who have been blessed with the lesson of addiction and commitment.

The bad news is, my little bag of HOPE can be carried by a hummingbird at this point.  It is little.  I know, there are Cinderella stories but they are called Cinderella stories because they do not happen very often. 

And the worst news of all, my son, that I was so proud of, will be a part of the corrections program for a long time.  He will not be the person I loved.  He will miss holidays and milestones.  He will not be in our home or in our lives for a long time.  And, I seriously doubt if our relationship will ever recover.

Before he entered the wilderness program, I had to fill out a 92 page questionnaire.  One of the questions was, "what is the worst fear you have as a parent for your child?"  It is that I will run into my child at the Food Lion in years to come and we will look at one another will hollow eyes and souls and not know what to say to one another.  Hello just doesn't seem like the appropriate word.

All of this was a symptom of bad choices, bad choice in friends and activities and extra curricular susbstances.

The good news is this, when Franklin and I are in the assisted living or old folks home, which is rapidly approaching, nobody is going to have the stories to tell that we will.  We will entertain our roomies and they will forget the stories so we will never run out of material.

Hug your kids tonight, you know where they are and hug your spouse for the same reason.  Feel your blessings large and small.  Share with your family all the good news of the day.