*** Total transparency, good friends chatting, wine may or may not have been involved and I did tell my friends I was blogging about this...not them...the topic.
So, ladies' night. And of course, there are the following topics, kids, husbands, parents, prices of groceries, weight gain and loss, aging and then this topic "what are your kids doing this summer?"
All of the kids are college students. Answers are "Interning at Disney in the marketing department", "Interning in NYC at this finance company," Interning at Google", "Interning the City government finance department" and "interning at Ferry system".
"Stephanie, where is Walker interning?"
"Oh, he isn't. He's going to Colorado with Addie to work on a dude ranch."
"WHAT! He's not interning. Are you ok with this?
"Yes, I am very ok with this."
"He's never going to get a job." (Obviously the overly dramatic friend)
"Never going to get a job? Come on now ladies? I responded.
"He will be fine. He will be in a new state, totally different surroundings and people, he will grow and seriously, when will he ever get to do anything like this again with his sister and get paid?'
"He's not going to get a job in his major."
"Oh, please....my friend was a sports broadcasting major and owns an antique store. HE WILL BE FINE."
Now look, I understand the value and the importance of internships. Had one myself. I do. I also understand that this was a once in a lifetime chance with a sibling. And family rates over the internship.
Love my girlfriends and I totally understand why they think it is important for an accounting major, finance, marketing major, whatever to get an internship, I totally understand. A Political Science major, he will be fine.
We laughed about the mom shaming but this time it was different for me. While I do understand the need for internships (are you getting the message that I understand the need for internships), I also understand the need for close bonds between siblings, new experiences, once in a lifetime opportunity and finding yourself.
Work will always be there. Always.
Square Dancing with your sister where cellphones do not work, that is not going to happen very often.
This whole conversation stayed with me for a few days...not because I was mad, unsure of his decision, or apprehensive, but because I wonder where the fun has gone? Everywhere you turn there are signs of mental illness and depression, young and old, teenage suicides off the charts, outcries for help...do I need to go on?
I work about 60 hours a week. Obscene I know but that is what it takes. On Friday nights, I usually am in bed, sober, before 9. Exhausted. By Sunday night at 6pm, I get that sick feeling in my gut because Monday is coming.
I want my kids to find themselves and find pure joy. I want them to see amazing sunsets and sunrises with amazing people before they have to take another TEAMS call or apply lipstick for a ZOOM meeting.
Life is so short, and it is going by faster and maybe if we all slowed down, square danced a bit and didn't spend most of the day glancing at our phones, we would all be a little happier and healthier.
My kids will be fine. Or maybe they won't. Who knows? We never really know anyway. One thing I do know, you are only young once. Adventures stay with you forever.
I sit in my empty house and wish I would hear all three kids flying down the steps again. The only noise in my house now, is the noise my bones make when I walk up the steps and then me gripping the handrail when I come down.
While I was writing this, Walker called. He sounded exhausted.
"Are you having fun?"
"Yes, love it here. Me and Addie are having so much fun and we are building a great team of workers. I am so glad I did this Mom".
Do I think the interning folks are going to call their moms and say the same things, yes I do.
But my kid rode a horse to work today. (Take that mom shamming friends)
Years ago, and it does seem like a lifetime, I was at the high school with the Button. The principal saw me shaking my head and he called me over and asked me this question, "Ever seen a mother duck in the pond with her babies? Notice how there is always one going the wrong way, not paying attention to the mom, looking all around?"
"Yes, of course."
"It is not how they get across the pond that matters; it is that they get across the pond."
Will never forget that little piece of parental advice from a principal.
I'm going to support my kids getting across the pond, even if it takes them longer to get across. And if it takes them longer because they are watching an elk or moose, that's find with me.
