the story of kids,chaos, mothering challenges and sometimes chocolate
Friday, February 17, 2012
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: When I grow up I want to be...A paste eater
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: When I grow up I want to be...A paste eater: Today, I had to explain to my young co-workers what the item above is and was. They had no idea. It seems like yesterday that I remember...
When I grow up I want to be...A paste eater
Earlier in the week, I had to explain the "Whitney" thing to the same co-workers. They didn't remember the "Whitney" thing. They were about six months old then. They didn't remember the Super Bowl and her singing, her break out album. Zilch. I even went to see her in concert at the Civic Arena in Pittsburgh, Pa with my parents.
Damn, I felt so old.
And one of the co-workers asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Hello, I am almost 51. I am grown up. I even get AARP magazine. Was he serious? I had an eraser wheel for goodness sake and got slabs of paste once every other week, I am old.
And he asked again and said, seriously, you still dream about it don't you?
Yes, I do.
If I could go get ANY job in the whole world today, here are my top three choices.
.2. The Crap Buyer. You know when you go into a sports bar or a Ruby Tuesday and they have all that stuff on the walls, I want to be the one who shops and buys it. How much fun would that be? You should for old stuff for a living with someone else's money. Sign me up.
3. Bed and Breakfast Expert Reviewer. I would like to have my own show where I travel around the world and visit only Bed and Breakfasts and review them. I don't really even care for Breakfast but I know I would be good at this job.
That is it. Any of those three, I would be happy. And yes, I still dream. And as I thought about his question, I was amused. When I was eating paste, I wanted to be a mailman that walked to deliver the mail or a librarian. Later,I wanted to be in radio. Isn't funny how you end up and where you end up?
If it wouldn't be for this blog, I wouldn't be working with a young kid who never saw an eraser wheel. He would never have met anyone who actually saw Whitney Houston in concert. I would never have had the blog if I didn't have a kid. If didn't stop eating paste, I wouldn't have lived to have the kid. Funny how things turn out and funny what you turn out to be.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Random s...
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Random s...: it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Random stuff because I am bored at wo rk: So, I have this new job. I write. I write blogs, emails,...
you are ruining my life
I was a senior in high school at the school picnic in Idewild Park. So, I was about 18. My mom made me meet her at a certain time (way before cell phones) at the water fountain close to the Caterpillar ride. The water fountain was brick and you could access it from either side. I still remember the fountain. She just wanted to "check on us."
It was there at one of the meetings, in front of my friends, who were also 18 at the time, that my mother ruined my life.
She pulled out a moistened wash cloth, that had soap on it from a "baggie" and washed my face with it. Then she made me wash my hands off. In front of my friends! I was 18 and about to graduate from High school and go to college and my mother whipped out a wash cloth and washed my face.
I am sure this act was 14 diary entries of "I hate my mother" worthy. I still remember the day she did this.
The "button" has informed me that I have" ruined his life and he does not want me to blog anymore.
"Raising kids is like being pecked to death by a duck."
My mom ruined my life too. She was a bitch. If you ever said you were bored, you would be scrubbing a garage door down,cleaning out your drawers(her obsession) or weeding the garden.
My mother also would come in and run the sweeper at seven am in the summer and then say, "Oh, you don't have to get up." Or, my favorite, "you don't have to get up, I just need your sheets."
My mom made me work, be respectful, wash dishes, dust, iron, clean toilets and fold laundry. Damn, I hate to fold laundry. Hate it. She made me write thank you notes, work, buy my own clothes and go to bed at a decent time. She inspected my friends, their parents and their activities.
She also was up my behind like a microscope and that was without caller id, call waiting, gps, cellular devices and video.
I was always amazed that girls could get pregnant and deliver a baby at the prom and their mom didn't know.
My mom would look at me and say, "you are getting sick." I would reply "no I am not". The next day, I was laying like a dead dog.
I wonder what my mom would be like as a parent today with all the modern technology?
One time I skipped school with a bunch of girls and we went to the mall. She caught me. She suspected another time and I was skipping school and I had to spend the ENTIRE day at a garbage dump because we couldn't go home. She set a trap. I sucked face like a rock star one night and I didn't think she knew, she found out. I told a lie about spending the night somewhere,and of course I wasn't going there. It was the first time I ever did it and she found out. Amazing. She was the best Private Detective ever.
She ruined my life. I didn't have a car in college, I had muck lucks and a coat. I walked everywhere. When I came home from college and was a little wild, she said you need to get out. Because she ruined my life, I got a job.
My first job was at a radio station. I was in the radio business for about 32 years because my mom ruined my life. I have owned a home, had some great kids, traveled, laughed and loved all because my mom ruined my life and was such a bitch.
So, the cycle continues. Another young life is ruined because a mom cared and wanted the best for a kid. The travesty. How dare a mom do such a thing?
I don't think I liked my mom until I was about 23, okay 24ish. I didn't like her. She was a nag and a hag and she drove me nuts.
And then one day,I was on my own, poor as hell, screw that, I was penniless but I was on my own. I didn't care that I could only afford popcorn for dinner, I was on my own. I had made it. I could eat when and what I wanted to, out of the kitchen even, I could fold my clothes anyway I wanted, I was free from the chains of Linda. Free, Free at last.
Until one day it hit me. Adulthood sucked. Sucked more than I ever imagined. Being free was not cheap, you actually pay for that water that comes out of your shower. You had to be responsible. Damn, if I could only go home. But, once again, when my mom was ruining my life, she had instilled, "once you commit, you can not quit." I couldn't go home. I would have to suck it up and work hard and work often.
That is when I fell in love with my mom. I wondered how she did it, how she came up the cash, the energy and the desire to keep on us like lint on black pants. How did she and why?
When the "button" was little, he was going on a field trip. His first one to the zoo in Columbia, South Carolina. I was so excited to go over the list the night before. I packed his lunch with great care and detail. I packed extra in case some loser mom forgot about the field trip, I wrote the "I love you "note with the lipstick.
And then, I did the unthinkable.
I moistened a wash cloth with soap, put it in the ziplock bag (baggies were replaced by ziplocks) and I included it in the lunch bag.
And, I screamed. I screamed right there in my kitchen, loudly.
I called my mom and said, "the worst possible thing has happened. I have become you. I am going to ruin this kid's life."
So, I will not include the "button" like before.
He wants to spread his wings and adjust his kinks on his own. I applaud his decision. Good for him. I think it is called "cleaning up spilled milk". Truly, it is never the mistakes you make that matter, it is how you clean them up that does.
I will continue to blog. I guess now I can just focus on the other two lives I am trying to ruin.
It was there at one of the meetings, in front of my friends, who were also 18 at the time, that my mother ruined my life.
She pulled out a moistened wash cloth, that had soap on it from a "baggie" and washed my face with it. Then she made me wash my hands off. In front of my friends! I was 18 and about to graduate from High school and go to college and my mother whipped out a wash cloth and washed my face.
I am sure this act was 14 diary entries of "I hate my mother" worthy. I still remember the day she did this.
The "button" has informed me that I have" ruined his life and he does not want me to blog anymore.
"Raising kids is like being pecked to death by a duck."
My mom ruined my life too. She was a bitch. If you ever said you were bored, you would be scrubbing a garage door down,cleaning out your drawers(her obsession) or weeding the garden.
My mother also would come in and run the sweeper at seven am in the summer and then say, "Oh, you don't have to get up." Or, my favorite, "you don't have to get up, I just need your sheets."
My mom made me work, be respectful, wash dishes, dust, iron, clean toilets and fold laundry. Damn, I hate to fold laundry. Hate it. She made me write thank you notes, work, buy my own clothes and go to bed at a decent time. She inspected my friends, their parents and their activities.
She also was up my behind like a microscope and that was without caller id, call waiting, gps, cellular devices and video.
I was always amazed that girls could get pregnant and deliver a baby at the prom and their mom didn't know.
My mom would look at me and say, "you are getting sick." I would reply "no I am not". The next day, I was laying like a dead dog.
I wonder what my mom would be like as a parent today with all the modern technology?
One time I skipped school with a bunch of girls and we went to the mall. She caught me. She suspected another time and I was skipping school and I had to spend the ENTIRE day at a garbage dump because we couldn't go home. She set a trap. I sucked face like a rock star one night and I didn't think she knew, she found out. I told a lie about spending the night somewhere,and of course I wasn't going there. It was the first time I ever did it and she found out. Amazing. She was the best Private Detective ever.
She ruined my life. I didn't have a car in college, I had muck lucks and a coat. I walked everywhere. When I came home from college and was a little wild, she said you need to get out. Because she ruined my life, I got a job.
My first job was at a radio station. I was in the radio business for about 32 years because my mom ruined my life. I have owned a home, had some great kids, traveled, laughed and loved all because my mom ruined my life and was such a bitch.
So, the cycle continues. Another young life is ruined because a mom cared and wanted the best for a kid. The travesty. How dare a mom do such a thing?
I don't think I liked my mom until I was about 23, okay 24ish. I didn't like her. She was a nag and a hag and she drove me nuts.
And then one day,I was on my own, poor as hell, screw that, I was penniless but I was on my own. I didn't care that I could only afford popcorn for dinner, I was on my own. I had made it. I could eat when and what I wanted to, out of the kitchen even, I could fold my clothes anyway I wanted, I was free from the chains of Linda. Free, Free at last.
Until one day it hit me. Adulthood sucked. Sucked more than I ever imagined. Being free was not cheap, you actually pay for that water that comes out of your shower. You had to be responsible. Damn, if I could only go home. But, once again, when my mom was ruining my life, she had instilled, "once you commit, you can not quit." I couldn't go home. I would have to suck it up and work hard and work often.
That is when I fell in love with my mom. I wondered how she did it, how she came up the cash, the energy and the desire to keep on us like lint on black pants. How did she and why?
When the "button" was little, he was going on a field trip. His first one to the zoo in Columbia, South Carolina. I was so excited to go over the list the night before. I packed his lunch with great care and detail. I packed extra in case some loser mom forgot about the field trip, I wrote the "I love you "note with the lipstick.
And then, I did the unthinkable.
I moistened a wash cloth with soap, put it in the ziplock bag (baggies were replaced by ziplocks) and I included it in the lunch bag.
And, I screamed. I screamed right there in my kitchen, loudly.
I called my mom and said, "the worst possible thing has happened. I have become you. I am going to ruin this kid's life."
So, I will not include the "button" like before.
He wants to spread his wings and adjust his kinks on his own. I applaud his decision. Good for him. I think it is called "cleaning up spilled milk". Truly, it is never the mistakes you make that matter, it is how you clean them up that does.
I will continue to blog. I guess now I can just focus on the other two lives I am trying to ruin.
Friday, February 3, 2012
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Random stuff because I am bored at wo
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Random stuff because I am bored at work: So, I have this new job. I write. I write blogs, emails, stuff. I just write. Some days I am bored. I have been researching blogs and...
Random stuff because I am bored at work
So, I have this new job. I write. I write blogs, emails, stuff. I just write.
Some days I am bored.
I have been researching blogs and blogging and they say that you need to change your blog "up a bit and often." You know, "catch em by surprise" thing. So today because I am bored, I am putting together my Playboy Center Fold List of Turn on's and Turn off's.
Years ago my brother and I would find my dad's Playboys in the his closet stuffed in between sweaters and we would read them. Todd would look at the pictures. I read those stupid things those chicks wrote. Because I will NEVER be a Playboy Centerfold, here is my list of Turn on's and Turn offs.
1. Clean sheets. LOVE THEM. Especially when I have just been to the dentist to get the teeth cleaning done, I take a shower, shave my legs and crawl in. Great feeling.
2. Porches. I love great porches. If I ever win the lottery, I am going to travel all over the world and sit on great porches and take pictures and sip cocktails and write an amazing coffee table book about great porches.
3. Snow. I love snow. Snowman, snow storms and snow cream. I love the smell of snow, love the sound of snow under my boots, love to watch snow and eat snow balls. I love snow. And when it snows I always think about the the Dr. Seuss book about snowballs.
4. Easter. Easter is my favorite holiday. I love Cadbury mini eggs with the shell on them. I love bunnies. I love Easter grass, Easter ham, egg salad and I LOVE to dye Easter eggs.
5. Rainy Sunday mornings are the best things ever. Enough said, roll over and go back to sleep.
6. I love to see really old couples talking to one another. They always seem to be at Peace and so kind to one another. I hope Franklin and I are like that when we are really old, age spots and all.
7. I love to hear all three of my kids laugh and sing to songs on the radio. When the three of them belt out "Hey Soul Sister, ....." I melt.
8. I love Cake Plates. Cake Plates of all colors and sizes. I don't know why, I love them. I also love to bake cakes. I don't even really like cakes but I love to see homemade cakes on Cake plates.
9. Sweatshirts with really soft insides are the best along with worn out nightgowns. You take your bra off at the end of the day and put one of these on and it is the best you will feel all day.
10. Old Pictures. When somebody dies, count on me to raid the box of old pictures. I look at them and think about what it was like without air conditioning or modern day plumbing and I get lost.
My Turn off list...
1. A finger-licker! Gag me. Cannot stand to see or hear someone licking fingers. Seriously, it is the worst thing ever. Doritos had a Super Bowl commercial last year where they licked fingers, I had a hard time buying Doritos after that because I could not get the image out of my head.
2. Snot sniffers. Use a Kleenex. They have Kleenex now with lotion in it. Pick one up and use it. We will all feel better.
3. Jersey Shore. That is all I can say about that show. I wonder how many petri dishes they could fill with all the germs from those kids?
4. Vultures of Doom. You know, "nothing ever goes my way, blah blah blah." Quit whining and fix it.
5. Stiff hair. Sprayed and processed "Chrissy doll" hair. Seriously, why do girls do still do this? Ugh. If you hair doesn't move in the wind then you are a "Chrissy doll head".
6. People who chew with their mouth open. This is also one of my brother's pet peeves. When we were kids at the dinner table, I would open my mouth all the time for him to see just so he would go crazy and get in trouble. Pork and Sauerkraut did him in EVERY time.
7. Bad dental hygiene.
8. Jack-o-lanterns on porches with Christmas lights. Come on, I takes more effort to put the lights up than it does to throw the pumpkin out. That big old orange pumpkin just screams "lazy" to me. Throw it out.
9. Gravy. Gross. Fat and flour. I do not get it. The WORST meal my mom ever made was Chicken and Gravy over waffles. I decided on that day that if my kids didn't like what I made, I wouldn't make them eat it. I HATE GRAVY.
10. Fake flowers on graves. My worst fear is that I will die and my kids will dump me in a hole along with 800 other people under the blazing hot sun and put a little fake daffodil on my grave and it will dry rot under the sun and lose it's color and look like a dried up pipe cleaner. I hate fake flowers on graves. If I ever become President, that is one of the first things I will change. If you have a cemetery, you can only have fresh flowers with lovely landscaping.
Okay . I am done. Still have three hours left to go.
Some days I am bored.
I have been researching blogs and blogging and they say that you need to change your blog "up a bit and often." You know, "catch em by surprise" thing. So today because I am bored, I am putting together my Playboy Center Fold List of Turn on's and Turn off's.
Years ago my brother and I would find my dad's Playboys in the his closet stuffed in between sweaters and we would read them. Todd would look at the pictures. I read those stupid things those chicks wrote. Because I will NEVER be a Playboy Centerfold, here is my list of Turn on's and Turn offs.
1. Clean sheets. LOVE THEM. Especially when I have just been to the dentist to get the teeth cleaning done, I take a shower, shave my legs and crawl in. Great feeling.
2. Porches. I love great porches. If I ever win the lottery, I am going to travel all over the world and sit on great porches and take pictures and sip cocktails and write an amazing coffee table book about great porches.
3. Snow. I love snow. Snowman, snow storms and snow cream. I love the smell of snow, love the sound of snow under my boots, love to watch snow and eat snow balls. I love snow. And when it snows I always think about the the Dr. Seuss book about snowballs.
4. Easter. Easter is my favorite holiday. I love Cadbury mini eggs with the shell on them. I love bunnies. I love Easter grass, Easter ham, egg salad and I LOVE to dye Easter eggs.
5. Rainy Sunday mornings are the best things ever. Enough said, roll over and go back to sleep.
6. I love to see really old couples talking to one another. They always seem to be at Peace and so kind to one another. I hope Franklin and I are like that when we are really old, age spots and all.
7. I love to hear all three of my kids laugh and sing to songs on the radio. When the three of them belt out "Hey Soul Sister, ....." I melt.
8. I love Cake Plates. Cake Plates of all colors and sizes. I don't know why, I love them. I also love to bake cakes. I don't even really like cakes but I love to see homemade cakes on Cake plates.
9. Sweatshirts with really soft insides are the best along with worn out nightgowns. You take your bra off at the end of the day and put one of these on and it is the best you will feel all day.
10. Old Pictures. When somebody dies, count on me to raid the box of old pictures. I look at them and think about what it was like without air conditioning or modern day plumbing and I get lost.
My Turn off list...
1. A finger-licker! Gag me. Cannot stand to see or hear someone licking fingers. Seriously, it is the worst thing ever. Doritos had a Super Bowl commercial last year where they licked fingers, I had a hard time buying Doritos after that because I could not get the image out of my head.
2. Snot sniffers. Use a Kleenex. They have Kleenex now with lotion in it. Pick one up and use it. We will all feel better.
3. Jersey Shore. That is all I can say about that show. I wonder how many petri dishes they could fill with all the germs from those kids?
4. Vultures of Doom. You know, "nothing ever goes my way, blah blah blah." Quit whining and fix it.
5. Stiff hair. Sprayed and processed "Chrissy doll" hair. Seriously, why do girls do still do this? Ugh. If you hair doesn't move in the wind then you are a "Chrissy doll head".
6. People who chew with their mouth open. This is also one of my brother's pet peeves. When we were kids at the dinner table, I would open my mouth all the time for him to see just so he would go crazy and get in trouble. Pork and Sauerkraut did him in EVERY time.
7. Bad dental hygiene.
8. Jack-o-lanterns on porches with Christmas lights. Come on, I takes more effort to put the lights up than it does to throw the pumpkin out. That big old orange pumpkin just screams "lazy" to me. Throw it out.
9. Gravy. Gross. Fat and flour. I do not get it. The WORST meal my mom ever made was Chicken and Gravy over waffles. I decided on that day that if my kids didn't like what I made, I wouldn't make them eat it. I HATE GRAVY.
10. Fake flowers on graves. My worst fear is that I will die and my kids will dump me in a hole along with 800 other people under the blazing hot sun and put a little fake daffodil on my grave and it will dry rot under the sun and lose it's color and look like a dried up pipe cleaner. I hate fake flowers on graves. If I ever become President, that is one of the first things I will change. If you have a cemetery, you can only have fresh flowers with lovely landscaping.
Okay . I am done. Still have three hours left to go.
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