you are ruining my life

I was a senior in high school at the school picnic in Idewild Park.  So, I was about 18.  My mom made me meet her at a certain time (way before cell phones) at the water fountain close to the Caterpillar ride.  The water fountain was brick and you could access it from either side.  I still remember the fountain.  She just wanted to "check on us."


  It was there at one of the meetings, in front of my friends, who were also 18 at the time, that my mother ruined my life.

She pulled out a moistened wash cloth, that had soap on it from a "baggie" and washed my face with it.  Then she made me wash  my hands off.  In front of my friends! I was 18 and about to graduate from High school and go to college and  my  mother whipped out a wash cloth  and washed my face.

I am sure this act  was 14 diary entries of "I hate my mother" worthy. I still remember the day she did this. 

The "button" has informed me that I have" ruined his life and he does not want me to blog anymore. 

"Raising kids is like being pecked to death by a duck."

My mom ruined my life too.  She was a bitch.  If you ever said you were bored, you would be scrubbing a garage door down,cleaning out your drawers(her obsession) or weeding the garden.  

My mother also would come in and run the sweeper at seven am in the summer and then say, "Oh, you don't have to get up."  Or, my favorite, "you don't have to get up, I just need your sheets."

My mom made me work, be respectful, wash dishes, dust, iron, clean toilets and fold laundry.  Damn, I hate to fold laundry.  Hate it.  She made me write thank you notes, work, buy my own clothes and go to bed at a decent time.  She inspected my friends, their parents and their activities.

She also was up my behind like a microscope and that was without caller id, call waiting, gps, cellular devices and video.

I was always amazed that girls could get pregnant and deliver a baby at the prom and their  mom didn't know.

My mom would look at me and say, "you are getting sick."  I would reply "no I am not".  The next day, I was laying like a dead dog.

I wonder what my mom would be like as a parent today with all the modern technology?

One time I skipped school with a bunch of girls and we went to the mall.  She caught me.  She suspected  another time and I was skipping school and I  had to spend the ENTIRE day at a garbage dump because we couldn't go home.  She set a trap.  I sucked face like a rock star one night and I didn't think she knew, she found out.  I told a lie about spending the night somewhere,and of course I wasn't going there. It was the first time I  ever did it and she found out.  Amazing.  She was the best Private Detective ever.

She ruined my life.  I didn't have a car in college, I had muck lucks and a coat.  I walked everywhere.  When I came home from college and was a little wild, she said you need to get out.  Because she ruined my life, I got a job.

My first job was at a radio station.  I was in the radio business for about 32 years because my mom ruined my life.  I have owned a home, had some great kids, traveled, laughed and loved all because my mom ruined my life and was such a bitch.

So, the cycle continues.  Another young life is ruined because a mom cared and wanted the best for a kid.  The travesty.  How dare a mom do such a thing?

I don't think I liked my mom until I was about 23, okay 24ish.  I didn't like her.  She was a nag and a hag and she drove me nuts.

And then one day,I  was on my own, poor as hell, screw that, I was penniless but I was on my own.  I didn't care that I could only afford popcorn for dinner, I was on my own.  I had made it.  I could eat when and what I wanted to, out of the kitchen even, I could fold my clothes anyway I wanted, I was free from the chains of Linda.  Free, Free at last.

Until one day it hit me. Adulthood sucked.  Sucked more than I ever imagined.  Being free was not cheap, you actually pay for that water that comes out of your shower.  You had to be responsible.  Damn, if I could only go home.  But, once again, when my mom was ruining my life, she had instilled, "once you commit, you can not quit."  I couldn't go home.  I would have to suck it up and work hard and work often. 

That is when I fell in love with my mom.  I wondered how she did it, how she came up the cash, the energy and the desire to keep on us like lint on black pants.  How did she and why?

When the "button" was little,  he was going on a field trip.  His first one to the zoo in Columbia, South Carolina.  I was so excited to go over the list the night before.  I packed his lunch with great care and detail.  I packed extra in case some loser mom forgot about the field trip, I wrote the "I love you "note with the lipstick. 

And then, I did the unthinkable.

I moistened a wash cloth with soap, put it in the ziplock bag (baggies were replaced by ziplocks) and I included it in the lunch bag.

And, I screamed.  I screamed right there in my kitchen, loudly.

I called my mom and said, "the worst possible thing has happened.  I have become you.  I am going to ruin this kid's life."

So, I will not include the "button" like before.

He wants to spread his wings and adjust his kinks on his own.  I applaud his decision.  Good for him.  I think it is called "cleaning up spilled milk".  Truly, it is never the mistakes you make that matter, it is how you clean them up that does. 


I will continue to blog.  I guess now I can just focus on the other two lives I am trying to ruin.