Last October, the sorority house mother asked my daughter if she would be interested in helping out with an elderly lady, Miss Fahn, who lived alone. Miss Fahn is 97.
I know that my daughter, without asking many questions, answered, "Oh hell yes!"
That particular moment, Addie's life changed.
All she said to me was, "Mom, I just spend the night and make sure she does not fall. She is afraid of falling".
Sounded simple enough and my daughter likes a spray tan membership, a Pilates membership and a Rent the Runway membership. The paycheck from the Pendergrass Library was not cutting the membership fees.
After the first night, I saw on Lifetime 360, Addie driving at 6am. I wasn't sure it was a bad or a good thing. "Mom, it was easy, she goes to bed early, before Sean Hannity, and gets up early. I didn't sleep and it was 90 degrees in the house."
I was amused by this whole arrangement.
As I stalked her movements on Lifetime 360, I noticed the arrival times were earlier, and the nights were more frequent.
And then she started calling after "Fi-Fi" went to bed. "Fi-Fi" is not her real name. When Addie loves someone, they get a nickname, and they keep that nickname. Period.
I was amused at what she was learning. No Wi-Fi, no smart TV's, high temperatures and current events. The channel stayed on one station, Fox News. To quote my daughter, "I have never been so up on current events".
She learned all about Fi-Fi. Her first job, her husband Jack, a former Marine who retired and started his own business. They never had children. Addie never had the courage to ask why.
All along Miss Fi-Fi said, "I want to die in Jack's chair". "If I fall, they will (distant family members) will send me to the home. I am not going to the home." NO pressure Addie.
And in no time, Addie had her sorority over to put up Christmas trees and decorate the house, Addie would take her for pedicures, listen to stories and bake cakes.
And so many nights, when college life seemed too much, Addie retreated with Fi-Fi. And so many a morning, before the sun was even up, I saw my daughter on the move. Another successful night of not falling.
Sadly, Addie never met one grandmother, and her other grandmother passed before she was twenty.
I am not sure it became a grandmother/granddaughter relationship, but I like to think that it was.
Addie would swing by the sorority house, grab lunch for Fi-Fi, clean her house, sit with her when "important" people had meetings, met distant family members (even trashed talked them with Fi-Fi after the visit was over).
Addie would park her truck at Fi-Fi's and leave for the weekend and Fi-Fi learned about UBER drivers and one video Fi-Fi told the driver, "Take care of my best friend".
Addie had to call her and let her know she arrived safely. Addie had arrived in Baltimore for the big NYC graduation trip. It was on the train that Addie handed me this card.
Yes, I bawled.
It never occurred to me that Addie was bringing, life, current day life lessons, sunshine, energy and companionship and something to look forward to.
And as days till graduation were getting close, my daughter had angst. "What was going to happen to Fi-Fi?"
Addie set up interviews and nobody passed the test.
After classes ended, Addie and Fi-Fi were together all the time. Multiple trips to Wal-mart and Lowes. Spring had arrived in Knoxville and Fi-Fi wanted to spruce up the house.
Ferns, plants, you know the springtime drill.
My favorite picture of Fi-Fi is in Addie's truck, sunglasses and all.
And graduation day arrived. The plan was always that we would pick her up and have attend the ceremony with us. I had a hunch the plan would not go as planned and I was correct.
It was too much.
Instead, we visited with her afterward. Delightful.
Addie was going to be in Knoxville for two weeks following graduation. This meant endless trips to Fi-Fi's taking valuables to her basement. And visiting.
Addie shared with me a story that Fi-Fi told her. Jack always kept his money from the business, stashed up in the seat of his truck. He didn't trust banks. One day, his truck was stolen. It wasn't the truck that he was upset, it was the stash under the seat that set him ablaze. As it turned out, the truck was recovered.
The first thing Jack did when he went to his truck? You guessed it. He stuck his hand up under the driver's seat.
When he got home, he said, "Fi-Fi, that was one dumb ass thief, the seat was worth more than the truck".
She would call later in the evening, after Fi-Fi went to bed, and keep us updated. She laughed so hard at that story.
And she shared that Fi-Fi was going to marry Jack, long before Jack even asked her on a date. They talked about life, love, experiences and God.
On our way to Nashville for the Big girl move for the Big Girl job, we had to stop at Fi-Fi's and get the things in the basement and the sofa. And we said our goodbyes.
It was heart crushing. Because, I am certain, in that bedroom that day, all three of us knew, we knew things were going to change.
And they did.
Two weeks after Addie left, the big fall happened.
And I will give it to Fi-Fi, she was right.
Miss Fi-Fi passed away last night. Not in Jack's chair, but in Jacks's house and Jack's bed. Close enough. Thirty-two days before she turned 98.
She will never know the absolute gift she became to a 22-year-old woman, my daughter, and to me.
My mom and my grandmother were totally instrumental to me at that age and Addie was able to have Fi-Fi.
Addie learned the real meaning of friendship and love. And giving. Not monetary gifts, but gifts from the heart. Time. Positive energy and joy. And the gift of letting someone know they matter.
She was delighted. And even Addie was taken back. Last Saturday when Addie was there, she said out loud to me, but, not really to me "I wonder how those yellow roses are doing?"
Those were the last flowers and the last gift that she ever received. And she had not a clue as to who the folks were that gave them to her. Random acts of kindness matter.
So, cheers to a life well lived. Here's to unusual friendships. And here's to Fi-Fi, forever in our hearts.
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