My friend, "Grit" passed away in August. He wasn't just a friend, he was someone I admired immensely.
He loved his wife, his mom, his brothers, his boys, and life. His spirit was so grandiose and he lived his life with gusto.
He is also the only person that ever got my "button." He understood my oldest son and the "button" loved him. Together, they lived their lives, balls to the wall.
"Grit" was a member of the Elementary School P.T.O. and I know the attendance soared those years he was a member. His impish grin and goofy ears with a quick wit made women swoon.
But he loved his wife "A" with all of his being.
He called me one rainy day and asked me if we could look after his dog. And he wasn't his usual self. He sounded like he had a cold.
I asked him, "Are you ok?"
He responded by saying, "No, I'm sick."
I thought it was a man cold.
"Cold?"
"No, cancer. It is serious. Please don't tell anyone but I needed to tell you cause I forget things and you need to know cause we need you to help with the boys."
"Ok but why aren't you telling anyone?"
"Cause I don't want people to treat me differently or look at me differently."
"Are you seriously pulling the cancer so card so I will be nice to you?"
"Gladwell, I knew I could count on you!" and he cracked up.
"I get forgetful, something with my medicine so you might want to always check details with "A".
I hung up and just sat at my desk looking out the window and the cold, dreary day shaking my head.
I was flabbergasted. And I couldn't tell anyone.
Like most folks, when you hear the C word you immediately go to the other C word, Casket. I didn't. I could tell by "Grit's" voice it was a pretty big deal but it I would always put my money on "Grit."
A few Friday's later, he called.
"Gladwell, I am on my way over."
End of conversation. Thank goodness we were home. All of us on a Friday night. It was odd.
He came to the door and announced he left his car running. He was paying the kids for dog sitting. Two hours later, car still running he left.
He told my kids every dirty, raunchy joke he knew, even his favorite, the boy, ducks, chicken and pussy willows, and every funny experience he ever had. I can still see Walker rocking back and forth on the couch laughing hysterically and Addie yelling "I am going to pee my pants."
And the entire time he was here, he never left one spot. He stood at our door, hand still on the door (He was only staying a few minutes cause the car was still running) and entertained. All the will, this sign was above his head. There has NEVER been anything more fitting for "Grit" than this quote.
After he passed and his son was working on the Celebration of Life, he called me and asked if I would speak, be one of the folks who stood up and helped keep it light and funny by telling a special story about "Grit".
I had one in my brain but when it was time, I couldn't do it. I just couldn't it. I wasn't ready to share the memory of him standing in my house under a quote that was written especially for him. I could not do it. I wanted to and I was capable but I could not do it.
My friend encouraged me put I could not. And I have regretted it but I could not do stand or speak.
Months have passed and I have watched his wife rock life with their three sons. I know she cries in the shower and maybe in her bed at night but she is doing it. I admire her so much for her grit.
My husband recently sold out pontoon boat. And he has had boat fever.
A few weeks ago, he announced that he was selling the john boat too and he was getting a new boat by the official start of boating season. I just agreed to a puppy so why stop now?
And as he searched for a used boat, nothing floated his boat.
A few weeks ago, I was over at "Grit's" house and saw his boat still sitting in the driveway.
I mentioned this to Franklin. He asked me what kind it was and I said, "one that goes in the water."
One of "Grit's" sons came to the house and Franklin asked him about the boat.
I said to Franklin, we cannot buy the boat if "A" is not comfortable with it. No way and he agreed.
So, he moved one to option B, the boat show. After a trip to the boat show, he wanted to pursue "Grit's" boat.
I heard him call "A" and the first thing he asked, "Are you okay with this us wanting to buy the boat? Will you comfortable and would "Grit be okay with this?"
It was a go.
Now, my husband is a procrastinator. Big time. But when he got the green light he needed from two women, he moved like lightening.
So, as fate would have it, I was attending "Hello Dolly" in Durham with "A" and two of her son's on Friday night.
We met for dinner before the show and "A" announced it was a done deal. We were puppy owners and boat owners (again) all in four weeks. I am crazy.
Off to Hello Dolly.
It has been years since I have seen Hello Dolly and did not remember a whole lot about the story line.
I am sitting in a theatre with a recent widow and two of her three boys and the play is about a widow who decides to start living again after the death of her husband. Hence the lyric, "it is so nice to have you back where you belong."
On the three hour drive home with one of her sleeping boys as my lame co-pilot, I just kept thinking about what was going on in her head as she watched the show and what her thoughts were.
Saturday morning came quickly and my boys were like kids on Christmas morning. They got to get back in their Sperry's and feel salt air and wind in their faces.
I had to miss the maiden voyage but before they left, I said to them, "you are going to get a message from Grit today that buying his boat was ok and he is happy."
Walker looked at me and asked, "do you really think so?"
"yes, just look for it. You will know."
Off my boys went. They returned late in the day all excited about their new boat and how much they loved it and then Walker said, "oh my gosh mom, we got a sign from Grit, did dad send you the pictures?"
"Wait, what? You did? What happened?"
"We were cruising along and dad and I saw this boat at the same time and we looked at each other and said, "nice boat, really nice boat."
Then the boat passed us and we were watching it and we looked at the name and dad took a picture, show her the picture dad."
Seriously, who names a boat "Hello Dolly?"
While my boys were having their Hello Dolly moment, "A" kept thinking about one of the big quotes from the show, "Money is like manure; it is not worth a thing unless it's spread around encouraging young things to grow."
She went and did one of the kindest gestures ever for one of her boys.
We went out for a late afternoon/early evening cruise. I was sitting at the front of the boat, wind blowing and the sun hitting my sun screened nose and I was thinking about "Grit" and how much he loved his wife and kids and how much joy his boat was bringing this family and how I regretted still, that I didn't speak at his celebration, when off to the right, I noticed this man driving by in a boat, waving, really waving.
Almost Forrest Gump like, he was waving with pure joy and I looked and realized it was "Grit's" neighbor. This man was standing straight with a huge smile on his face and I know what he was thinking, "Grit would have loved seeing his boat gliding through the water...it's so nice to have you back where you belong."
