call me, please!

I didn't date much in my younger days.  But, one some guy said they were going to call, I was by that phone.

I love to talk on the phone.  I love to hear a person's voice.  I love to hear the phone ring.
I hate hanging up.

Damn it "button", can you please call?

It has been over a week since he has called, 12 days I think.

And, just like a  jilted lover, I am going crazy.

Is he okay, did he get in trouble and lose the privilege, is he on a trip, is he still there, did he runaway, where is he, is he safe and are we going to hear from him again?

Ugh.

At least it isn't, "am I a lousy kisser, did I talk too much, was there something in my teeth, am I not smart enough?"

I guess I am growing up.

I have spent the last four days carrying my phone around like I am waiting on a new liver, which really isn't a bad idea.  Saturday night at a dinner party, I stared at the phone like I was willing it to ring.  No ring. 

I had to work with the bitches, bleach and bras crew today and my shorts didn't have pockets.  So, I stuck the phone in my pants all day.  On vibrate.   How redneck is that?  When it has moisture problems, how will I explain this to the US cellular dude?  "ahhh, left it in my pants and was having a hot flash while I was cleaning and I guess that is why the the moisture tab turned red."

And I have called my voicemail 90 times today convinced that he called and I missed the call. 

Seriously, I feel like a love sick teenager that has been dumped. 
Maybe one of the donkeys that carries the supplies up the side of the mountain stepped on the "button's foot" and he is in bed and cannot walk to the phone.  I bet that is it.

My friend sent me this joke one time...it goes something like this...

Her brain...

"Oh, he is so distant, he isn't listening to anything I am saying and he didn't order the usual off the menu.  He is having a hard time staying engaged in the conversation, he keeps shaking his leg, I knew the other night when I mentioned going away for the weekend he seemed really tense and out of sorts."

His brain...

"WVU lost today.  Sucky day".

Hope that is it, hope someday dropped the phone and it bounced down the mountain.

Hope he calls.  Hope he is well.  Hope is still there.  Hope he misses us. Hope he is well.

Hope he isn't making life long friends. 

Hope he calls us soon.

Hope he knows that a hurricane is coming our way and I keep thinking about him as we prepare.  Damn, you would think that red dot swirling around in the ocean headed right toward your house would prompt a phone call, wouldn't you?

And when he does call, I will let you know.