birthing babies is like surviving hurricanes

This weekend gave me time to think...birthing babies is like surviving hurricanes.

How can that be?

Well, let's think about ...

1. The doctor confirms that "yes, the rabbit died, now go get a sonogram so we know when we can expect this little thing."  And off you go to see the rice krispie on the screen.  There it is and the race is on...with a hurricane, you see that red swirl and the race is on.

2.  You know the baby is coming...just like the hurricane.  You don't know when for sure it is coming but you know when it is coming.  You start to prepare.

3.  You name it. And trust me, give it a redneck name and it will reek havoc...Agnes, Hazel, Fran, Floyd, Earl...no redneck names.

4.  You prepare.  You buy stuff for both that you are not even sure why you are buying.  I had four anal thermometers for my kids.  Never used one.  We have generators, flashlights, bags of ice, zip lock bags, it is crazy.  But, we are prepared.  We don't know when this thing is coming but we are prepared.

5.  Elderly people feel the need to comment on your size.  "Hope that baby doesn't fall out in my store."  Do you know how many elderly people said that to me when I was carrying? Seriously.  Did I have say anything like, "wow, how long have you been sporting that chrome dome up there".  Last week at the Food Lion in the bread aisle, this elderly man says to me "I feel like this is going to be a BIG one...better get an extra loaf."  Just randomly he says that to me.  Like a loaf, one single loaf was going to make all the difference.

6.  You grade the Hurricane and the pregnancy...Category One versus High Risk.  I noticed one day in the office of my obgyn that all the other girls had white files.  I had a red one.  When I got i n front of the doctor, I asked.  "Why do all the other girls have white files and I have a red one?"

"Cause you are old" he said.  Category Five.

7.  You watch that red swirl on the television like you have never seen the color red.  Round and round it goes and yet you keep watching.  Just like that little been on the sonogram screen.  You keep watching.  Then you read up on your "bean" and the weeks that correspond with it, you cannot get enough info.

8.  You know the arrival date is near and you wait for the symptoms.  Does your back hurt, is the wind picking up?  Are your legs swelling, is the barometric pressure falling?  You know it is coming, you just don't know when. You know you tired from waiting.

9.  You are exhausted.  You have shopped, painted, purchased, unpacked, washed, put away and now you are ready for the baby.  With Hurricanes, you shop, cook, put stuff away, get stuff out, get papers ready, fill cars with gas, board up and then you are tired and you wait.

10.  And it is finally here.  It never comes when you expect it and it never comes how you expected it.  Sometimes it is fast and furious and leaves quickly.  Sometimes it is slow and painful and seems to last forever.

11. The aftermath sucks.  When I was pregnant, all I ever heard about was the BIRTH.  Never, did anyone ever mention that the frustrated East German swimmers would come in afterward and rub and massage me and make me feel like I had been in a car accident or wish I had been in one.  After a Hurricane sucks.  It is hot, no power, which means NO air conditioning, bugs and you are tired.  The aftermath sucks.

12.  And then it is gone.  The Hurricane is over and leaves.  The baby is born and you are alone with your child.  Both have peaceful silence. 

Some Hurricanes come and go with no significance.  Some babies are born and go through life with utter ease.  Some Hurricanes blow your socks off and are spoken about for years after they have dropped leaves from trees.  Some babies blow your socks off for years.

The "button" called.  He is doing well.  He continues to blow my socks off.