the story of kids,chaos, mothering challenges and sometimes chocolate
Saturday, August 22, 2020
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: "I've got this mom." I dropped my kid at college
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: "I've got this mom." I dropped my kid at college: Like millions before me, I dropped my kid at college. Not just me, my husband too. I have had several parents say that I would lose it ...
"I've got this mom." I dropped my kid at college
My son was not one of those kids who wanted
to go to college. He wanted to enlist. We said, "you can enlist after you get a
degree." He was NOT happy. And he dragged his feet. But, one night, a good
friend came over and said "snap out of it and get your act together. Going to
college is a great idea. The military will be there after you graduate. Now
write this essay." He listened.
And he applied. He applied to several schools.
He applied to my alma mater, West Virginia University. It was his choice, not
mine.
We were at the biggest wrestling tournament of the season, when he came
off the mat with a big grin, I thought because of the win. Instead he walks over
and said, "I got accepted to WVU". I knew then he had senoritis and this is
where he would go. You could see it on his face.
I secretly was afraid of his
decision because he said they have the best chicken wings there...not exactly
something you can build a future on but it was his journey.
After he accepted,
my walking buddy told me to start ASAP on the sheets, mattress pads, you name
it. I did. And as they were delivered or purchased, they were piled up in my
closet. He just shook his head. I have a son. Decorations? "We don't need no stinking decorations." But,
when a North Carolina state flag was delivered, he wanted it as his only
"decoration" alongside a Terrible Towel.
He asked me if he could "pick out his
bed linens" and I almost passed out. He knew exactly what he wanted. Stunned. He
had researched something. What a start for college. I discovered he knew how to
research. I was feeling good.
Then, because everything article of clothing he
owned, represented something from his high school, he asked me if we "could go
fashion shopping". Now, I was over the top stunned. Fashion? I The next week, accompanied by
his sister, they went "fashion" shopping. I was blown away. I was not blown away
by the fashion choices. I was blown away that he was taking control. I wasn't
buying, having him try on and returning. He was doing it.
He even told me that
he wanted a hair cut.
But as move in day got closer, he became an 18 year old
jerk. Little nervous, a little burned out on covid, anxious. Or, was it because
he was going 9 hours away, starting a whole new chapter in his life and only knew
one other person there?
So the big weekend was scheduled when a covid outbreak
happened at WVU. His start date was pushed back and so was move in day. UGH. One
extra week of a an 18 year old soon to be freshman pacing back and forth
convinced that his college drop off would never happen because of a covid. He
checked his email like he was waiting for an organ hoping there would be an
update but not the update he feared.
But the day came. We traveled nine hours by
car and landed in Morgantown, West By God Virginia. The trunk was packed so
tight, we could not have even added a Q-tip. We spent one night down on the
lake, saw some deer, a marina with a zillion boats and you could not wipe the
smile off his face.
Friday morning came and my alarm went off at 5:45am. He
popped out of bed. The day was here. Typically, my family is like herding cats
in the morning and this one was no different.
But we pulled it together and made
it to the dorm early. We were so early they were not even ready for us. The
first person we met was a woman named Mrs.Walker. What are the chances? She took
us to his dorm and it was game on. We had the car unloaded in five minutes and
the room put together in fifteen. Amazing how easy it is when you don't have
decorations.
Of course, we had to make a quick trip to Walmart and then unload.
A covid test and lunch. He did not want to go to lunch with us. Food and he was
willing to turn it down. My husband stepped in and said, "get in the car."
When lunch was over, I could feel in my gut the moments were coming to a
crescendo but I kept it together. We pulled up to a parking spot prepared to walk
him to his dorm and he said, "Ok, thanks." Translation, cut the cord, it is
time, "I've got this."
We said our goodbyes and hugged. I handed him a box, wrapped with a
card in it. He hugged me, my eyes swelled and he said, "don't cry. I've got
this". And as he walked away.
It was NOT that he was going to college. It wasn't.
This was the plan. This was why I shopped for towels, monogrammed them, shopped
for his linens, bought tons of deodorant, shampoo, underwear, Sharpied all of
his shoes, fleeces, all of it. This was the moment. And he walked off. He looked
so little as he walked toward the tall skinny dorm.
It was not that he was
leaving, or that it would be "different" after today, it was I didn't know how
it happened to quickly. I swear, I just dropped him off at the Cape Carteret
Presbyterian Pre-School? I did, I swear I did. Or wasn't last weekend that I
picked him from Boy scout Camp? Didn't he just get his permit last week? I swear
he just drove after nine for the first time with his license. Where did the
time go?
Who came up with 18? I know it wasn't a mom. I was ok. I was. It was
part of the process. I wanted this for him. I was good.
And then I got a text.
He had opened his present and read his letter.
Dear Walker,
So today is the day! You
are a Mountaineer! Let’s Go! How exciting!
When you were making your college
decision, I truly DID NOT care if you went to WVU. I didn’t. But when I saw you
face at the Tiger after you were done wrestling, when you said you were
accepted, I knew you would end up here. And secretly, I was like YES!
Emerson said, “give your children roots and then wings.” Today is a big
deal.
A big deal and before you can blink, you will be in a cap and gown and it
will be over. Trust me, it is like high school in steroids. And after you throw
that collegiate cap in the air, it is all over. Adulthood on steroids. Adulthood
on steroids sucks. So, enjoy it and make the most of it every single day. Every
single day. I do have some words of wisdom for you and I hope you follow these
words 99% of the time.
1. Shower before class.
2. Go to class.
3. Smile with
your eyes since your mask will be covering your face.
4. Be kind and helpful.Open doors and help people carry things.
5. Be open minded to meeting people you never thought would be “your type.”
6. Walk
away from those who are toxic and filled with drama. If you avoid phone calls
from them, not a good sign.
7. Don’t be “that guy” who sleeps with a bunch of
women and discards them like a dirty Kleenex. Only sleep with girls you would
want to marry or meet your parents. You never know when one of them is lying and
then next thing you know it, you are a daddy. Treat women like you would want
your sister treated. Remember, “No” means “NO.”
8. Every day try and find out
something new about WVU. Walk a different way, read a sign, inquire about
something, go into a building you don’t really need to go into, go anyway. Learn
something about your new home.
9. Pay attention to the smell of leaves in the
fall, nothing like it, really.
10. Learn to smell approaching snow and love it.
11. Wash your sheets weekly.
12. Enjoy walking up and down hills.
13. Listen to
the quiet in the dorms on Sunday am.
14. Open doors and help folks carry things.
15. Miss your family.
16. Appreciate that you live in a country where you can
get an education and pick where you get it from. Understand that in some
countries, women are not allowed to get the same education. Appreciate the gift
of learning in a free country.
17. Try as many new things as possible, if they
are legal and do not bring criminal charges.
18. Love the folks in the cafeteria
and the cleaning people. They have these jobs to feed their kids too. They are
the closest thing to another “mom” as you will get so be kind to them.
19. Always use the dryer sheets in the dryer. Always.
20. Wipe the toothpaste out of
the sink and flush. Then Wash your hands. With soap.
21. Go to Class. (this is
the second time I have written this).
22. Always carry a pen.
23. Look confident
in class even if you are not.
24. Laugh at yourself, there will be a “few of
those moments” so laugh at yourself. It is ok.
25. Learn from your mistakes.
Learn.
26. You are going to learn more about life here in college than you will
from the books, so pay attention to your life’s lessons. Don’t repeat the bad
lessons.
27. I have included pre- addressed post cards…write one a week to
whomever you chose. These people have been kind to you over the years, let them
know this. They will appreciate that postcard more than you will ever know.
28.
Call your mom and dad. TEXTS do not always count. Send us pictures. We want to
hear your voice.
29. Go to class
30. Remember, you are from a small town,
others are from big cities, but you all have bellybuttons. Doesn’t matter where
you come from, it only matters where you are going. But while you move forward,
remember who you really are, do not be someone you are not.
31. Be a class act.
You know how. You have all the tools. Be a class act.
You know you are loved
beyond measure, worthy of being loved and capable of giving true love. You know
we are proud of you, there are a zillion reasons why we are proud of you so go
take all your talents and magnify our pride.
Be proud of yourself. Appreciate
what is in store for you. Being your mom has been my greatest accomplishment
and provided the best memories.
Love you son!
Go to class?
PS these clothes are for the
first day of class…I expect a picture.
As we were out of pulling out of town
after gassing up, I got this text. "I read your card momma and it made me so
happy. I love you mom and I couldn't understand how much effort you put into
making this the best. I'm going to make you proud. I promise."
If I never get
another text from him, it is ok.
After all the work I (along with my husband)
put into this drop off, he truly understood, and I did too..."I've got this
mom."
Saturday, May 9, 2020
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Texas Sheet Cake and Tupperware...A Mother's Day T...
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Texas Sheet Cake and Tupperware...A Mother's Day T...: Growing up, we were communal. My aunt and uncle lived one door up from us (for awhile) with my three cousins. My grandparents lived abou...
Texas Sheet Cake and Tupperware...A Mother's Day Tribute
Growing up, we were communal. My aunt and uncle lived one door up from us (for awhile) with my three cousins.
My grandparents lived about 20 minutes away. We saw them about five times a week.
When I was maybe in second grade, my uncle installed an inground pool in his backyard. This was a big deal in Pittsburgh, PA because you literally only had 13 weeks, if that, of swimming weather. Most folks had above ground pool for this reason. My Uncle B went Big.
And so, every picnic, birthday or celebration, was held at my aunt and uncle's house. We swam, ate, played kickball or Redrover (cause you had that bullshit hour of letting your food digest) and then swam more.
Most families eat to live, ours lived to eat. And with every celebration, the matriarchs brought out their best culinary treats.
My aunt Judy made the potato salad, served in the a big Tupperware bowl and the best canned dilled pickles you could ever imagine. Ever.
My Uncle B. was the grill master.
My mamaw brought pies. Ruth Ball, no doubt, made the best pies ever. Seven-Up. That was her secret. She used Seven-Up in her pie dough. She loved baking pies. Coconut Cream was her specialty. "You know why everyone loves my Coconut Cream Pie Stephanie, cause it has coconut in it. Lots of it. You buy a piece of Coconut Cream Pie at a diner and it is like a crow flew over the pie and dropped the coconut on it. There is none. You need to learn how to bake a pie or you are never going to get a man." And there you have it. Dating 101. My grandfather made her a wooden box to transport her pies in "cause she didn't want them swerving all of the floor of the car."
And mamaw made the best baked beans. Gobs. And stuffing. She put yellow food coloring in her stuffing so it looked "happy and not so drab."
My mom made the deviled eggs, delivered in the Tupperware deviled egg tray that had the handle, macaroni salad (best ever) and the strawberry jello salad with the cream cheese topping and nuts that giggled in a Tupperware 9x11.
My mom was born with a sweet tooth the size of Texas. She had a drawer, the middle one, closest to the wall, always with chocolate. Ever Monday she started a diet. Every Monday.
One day I came home and at 10am she was eating a hot fudge Sundae. Whoooaa even a bit much for my mom.
"Mom, thought you started a diet today?'"
"I did. I didn't put as much hot fudge on as usual."
My mom loves chocolate on chocolate. And she loves to bake.
Always, at these gatherings, somebody would show up with a new menu item and you would hear, "I need the recipe."
Somewhere down the line, my mom discovered Texas Sheet cake. I remember my Great Grandma Emma, my mamaw and my mom talking about the recipe and one of them said, "If a recipe has three sticks of butter and a cup of buttermilk, it is a good one. "Buttermilk. Moist." They were not into complete sentences.
And so, my mom's love affair with Texas Sheet Cake began. She would cut up the sheet cake into squares and place them on her Tupperware whatever.
I can still see her now carrying the Tupperware container, proudly, around the corner of my aunt and uncle's house. Who doesn't like 8 tablespoons of cocoa, 3 sticks of butter, one cup of buttermilk, one pound of confectioner's sugar, two cups of sugar and some flour?
A few years ago, when the Pioneer Woman became popular, my girlfriend said, "OMG, you need to bake this Texas Sheet Cake."
I responded, "do I look like I have never eaten Texas Sheet Cake? Yes, was raised on it"
But if you love to bake, you need something to store your baked goods in.
I can remember my mom, Aunt Judy, mamaw and even Great Grandma Emma and their love affair with Tupperware. They were in love with Tupperware for two reasons, it got them out of the house for a night with the girls and they used it. They coveted the Tupperware. The four of them should have been the test marketers.
Years ago, my mom gave me a Tupperware measuring cup. The numbers were worn off and that is probably the reason she gave it to me. But I use it.
Today, I was making the Texas Sheet Cake and I could hear her say, "Texas Sheet cake is good for a function cause it makes a ton." I am calling bs on that mom, I think she made it cause it is truly the best icing ever and you make it while the cake part is in the oven and you can sneak a bit if you want. And I do, every time.
I am fortunate. I have my mom and my Aunt Judy. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about my mamaw or my great grandmother, not one. I cannot imagine what it is like to not have your mom.
I remember after the "button's" accident, I showed up in his hospital room, and he tilted his little head a bit and asked, "why are you here?"
I sat down and looked at him and said, "if I were you, and I was scared, I would want my mom. She would no doubt drive me crazy fifteen minutes after she arrived, but I would want my mom."
He looked at me with his big, frightened blue eyes and said, "was trying to be a man, but yes, I wanted my mom.'"
I can still see my mom walking with that Tupperware, proud, carrying something in each hand. Proudly sitting her culinary skills on the picnic table. Her macaroni salad always had thinly sliced hard boiled eggs on the top, sprinkled with paprika. Always.
Her Texas Sheet Cake, the icing was always "as smooth as a baby's ass" she would say.
It is funny to me, as a mom, I do all this stuff for me kids. All of it. Just like my mom did for me. Just like my mamaw did for my mom. And it is never the big things that seem to matter, it is the little things, like carrying a Texas sheet cake in Tupperware that you remember.
Some things I have forgotten. Some things are so fresh in my memory. And the same things still crack me up.
As I iced my Texas Sheet Cake I kept thinking about my mom walking with her Tupperware. She was proud and I am proud of her. It was her job to raise my brother and me and her greatest skill set was herself. Her recipe for our success was herself, and two sticks of butter. She did a good job. I don't tell her enough, none of us do. And ironically enough, the woman who drilled me like a Marine Captain, and the person I was so afraid I would become, I became. Don't we all?
And to all of those celebrating mother's day without your mom, take a moment sit back, and just think of the "one" thing that you remember most about your mom. You won't be able too...there will be too many wonderful things and I bet some include buttermilk.
Texas Sheet Cake Ingredients:
My grandparents lived about 20 minutes away. We saw them about five times a week.
When I was maybe in second grade, my uncle installed an inground pool in his backyard. This was a big deal in Pittsburgh, PA because you literally only had 13 weeks, if that, of swimming weather. Most folks had above ground pool for this reason. My Uncle B went Big.
And so, every picnic, birthday or celebration, was held at my aunt and uncle's house. We swam, ate, played kickball or Redrover (cause you had that bullshit hour of letting your food digest) and then swam more.
Most families eat to live, ours lived to eat. And with every celebration, the matriarchs brought out their best culinary treats.
My aunt Judy made the potato salad, served in the a big Tupperware bowl and the best canned dilled pickles you could ever imagine. Ever.
My Uncle B. was the grill master.
My mamaw brought pies. Ruth Ball, no doubt, made the best pies ever. Seven-Up. That was her secret. She used Seven-Up in her pie dough. She loved baking pies. Coconut Cream was her specialty. "You know why everyone loves my Coconut Cream Pie Stephanie, cause it has coconut in it. Lots of it. You buy a piece of Coconut Cream Pie at a diner and it is like a crow flew over the pie and dropped the coconut on it. There is none. You need to learn how to bake a pie or you are never going to get a man." And there you have it. Dating 101. My grandfather made her a wooden box to transport her pies in "cause she didn't want them swerving all of the floor of the car."
And mamaw made the best baked beans. Gobs. And stuffing. She put yellow food coloring in her stuffing so it looked "happy and not so drab."
My mom made the deviled eggs, delivered in the Tupperware deviled egg tray that had the handle, macaroni salad (best ever) and the strawberry jello salad with the cream cheese topping and nuts that giggled in a Tupperware 9x11.
My mom was born with a sweet tooth the size of Texas. She had a drawer, the middle one, closest to the wall, always with chocolate. Ever Monday she started a diet. Every Monday.
One day I came home and at 10am she was eating a hot fudge Sundae. Whoooaa even a bit much for my mom.
"Mom, thought you started a diet today?'"
"I did. I didn't put as much hot fudge on as usual."
My mom loves chocolate on chocolate. And she loves to bake.
Always, at these gatherings, somebody would show up with a new menu item and you would hear, "I need the recipe."
Somewhere down the line, my mom discovered Texas Sheet cake. I remember my Great Grandma Emma, my mamaw and my mom talking about the recipe and one of them said, "If a recipe has three sticks of butter and a cup of buttermilk, it is a good one. "Buttermilk. Moist." They were not into complete sentences.
And so, my mom's love affair with Texas Sheet Cake began. She would cut up the sheet cake into squares and place them on her Tupperware whatever.
I can still see her now carrying the Tupperware container, proudly, around the corner of my aunt and uncle's house. Who doesn't like 8 tablespoons of cocoa, 3 sticks of butter, one cup of buttermilk, one pound of confectioner's sugar, two cups of sugar and some flour?
A few years ago, when the Pioneer Woman became popular, my girlfriend said, "OMG, you need to bake this Texas Sheet Cake."
I responded, "do I look like I have never eaten Texas Sheet Cake? Yes, was raised on it"
But if you love to bake, you need something to store your baked goods in.
I can remember my mom, Aunt Judy, mamaw and even Great Grandma Emma and their love affair with Tupperware. They were in love with Tupperware for two reasons, it got them out of the house for a night with the girls and they used it. They coveted the Tupperware. The four of them should have been the test marketers.
Years ago, my mom gave me a Tupperware measuring cup. The numbers were worn off and that is probably the reason she gave it to me. But I use it.
Today, I was making the Texas Sheet Cake and I could hear her say, "Texas Sheet cake is good for a function cause it makes a ton." I am calling bs on that mom, I think she made it cause it is truly the best icing ever and you make it while the cake part is in the oven and you can sneak a bit if you want. And I do, every time.
Today, while I was waiting for the timer to go off, I breezed through social media. I saw an unusual amount of posts about getting through Mother's Day without your mom.
I am fortunate. I have my mom and my Aunt Judy. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about my mamaw or my great grandmother, not one. I cannot imagine what it is like to not have your mom.
I remember after the "button's" accident, I showed up in his hospital room, and he tilted his little head a bit and asked, "why are you here?"
I sat down and looked at him and said, "if I were you, and I was scared, I would want my mom. She would no doubt drive me crazy fifteen minutes after she arrived, but I would want my mom."
He looked at me with his big, frightened blue eyes and said, "was trying to be a man, but yes, I wanted my mom.'"
I can still see my mom walking with that Tupperware, proud, carrying something in each hand. Proudly sitting her culinary skills on the picnic table. Her macaroni salad always had thinly sliced hard boiled eggs on the top, sprinkled with paprika. Always.
Her Texas Sheet Cake, the icing was always "as smooth as a baby's ass" she would say.
It is funny to me, as a mom, I do all this stuff for me kids. All of it. Just like my mom did for me. Just like my mamaw did for my mom. And it is never the big things that seem to matter, it is the little things, like carrying a Texas sheet cake in Tupperware that you remember.
Some things I have forgotten. Some things are so fresh in my memory. And the same things still crack me up.
As I iced my Texas Sheet Cake I kept thinking about my mom walking with her Tupperware. She was proud and I am proud of her. It was her job to raise my brother and me and her greatest skill set was herself. Her recipe for our success was herself, and two sticks of butter. She did a good job. I don't tell her enough, none of us do. And ironically enough, the woman who drilled me like a Marine Captain, and the person I was so afraid I would become, I became. Don't we all?
And to all of those celebrating mother's day without your mom, take a moment sit back, and just think of the "one" thing that you remember most about your mom. You won't be able too...there will be too many wonderful things and I bet some include buttermilk.
Texas Sheet Cake Ingredients:
• 2 cups Flour
• 2 cups Sugar
• 1 cup Water
• 2 sticks of Butter
• 4 TSBP Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
• 1/2 cup Buttermilk
• 2 Eggs
• 1 tsp Baking Soda
• 1 tsp Vanilla Extract
• 2 cups Sugar
• 1 cup Water
• 2 sticks of Butter
• 4 TSBP Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
• 1/2 cup Buttermilk
• 2 Eggs
• 1 tsp Baking Soda
• 1 tsp Vanilla Extract
Texas Sheet Cake Frosting Ingredients:
• 1 stick Butter
• 4 TBSP Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
• 7 TBSP Buttermilk
• 1 pound Confectioners Sugar
• 1 tsp Vanilla Extract
• 4 TBSP Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
• 7 TBSP Buttermilk
• 1 pound Confectioners Sugar
• 1 tsp Vanilla Extract
Classic Texas Sheet Cake Directions:
• To Make The Cake:
• Preheat oven to 375°
• Spray a 15″x10″ jelly roll pan with a non-stick spray.
• In a large bowl, combine flour and sugar; set aside.
• Spray a 15″x10″ jelly roll pan with a non-stick spray.
• In a large bowl, combine flour and sugar; set aside.
Melt butter in a medium saucepan; stir in baking cocoa powder and water and bring to a boil.
Pour the boiling cocoa mixture into the bowl with the flour mixture and mix with a spoon until blended.
Add the egg mixture to the cocoa mixture and stir until blended.
Pour the batter into the pan and bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean.
Sift confectioners sugar into a large bowl, set aside.
• Make certain you work quickly so that the frosting does set up in the bowl.
Frosting Instructions:
Sift confectioners sugar into a large bowl, set aside.
Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat; add the 4 tablespoons cocoa powder and 7 tablespoons buttermilk. Bring to a low (barely there) boil.
Pour the liquid cocoa mixture into the bowl of sifted confectioners sugar and whisk together until smooth.
• Make certain you work quickly so that the frosting does set up in the bowl.
Once the frosting is smooth, pour the frosting over the warm cake.
Once the frosting is smooth, pour the frosting over the warm cake.
Saturday, April 25, 2020
The Class of 2020
The Class of 2020...such a catchy ring to it. Twenty-twenty, like your vision, the ABC show, the election year, the way it looks...memorable.
The Class of 2020 will always be special. You came into the world with a uniqueness, babies from 2002...the year of 9-11.
Most parents, like myself, did not realize you were the class of 2020, until you started kindergarten.
If you are a college graduate, I can see you now, opening your acceptance packet with the flag, Class of 2020. How flipping excited were you?
My son is a member of the High School Class of 2020.
Ironically, I discovered I was pregnant on the 9-11.
My husband and I decided that the 09-11 would always be about HOPE for us.
We also decided that our child would be named to represent 9-11. Elizabeth if it was a girl (Betsey Ross) and Walker (George W. Bush) if it was a boy.
We did not know what we were having, our gender reveal would take place in the delivery room. It turns out, our 9-11 baby, was a boy and weighed 9-11.
When things do not go as planned or turn out the way you wanted them to, it is about HOPE.
You have to believe there is good in everything.
My son's cap and gown are still in the Jostens's bag and will no doubt stay there. No last day of school picture on the step, no prom, no senior picnic and more than likely, no traditional graduation.
Walker's senior year was filled with highs and lows and then some very high highs and very low lows. And guess what, he's still standing. Somethings went as planned and some things did not. But all things provided a chance to learn and grow and start pushing him into adulthood.
In December, we were at the biggest wrestling tournament of the year and he came over before he wrestled and said whispered in my ear. When I saw him coming I thought he would say something about his opponent...instead I heard, "I got accepted to WVU." Excitement.
And I could hear it in his voice, mentally, he had graduated from High School. He was thinking of the future.
Parents are bummed. I get it. I wanted the 2020 closure, the finish line. My husband and I worked our butts off to make sure our kids had the best possible school years. I have done cereal box projects, di-a-ramas and worked many a Fall Festival, concession stand duty, shopped for the perfect first day of school outfit and sat with a child in my lap making sure they were prepared for the quiz the next day. I slipped deodorant in the backpacks to make sure they didn't stink on the bus and dug through the bottom of my purse for lunch money on many occasions.
One walk across a stage, a diploma exchange and a handshake...about four seconds in length but 13 hard years in the making.
The four second walk is just as much for parents as it is for the graduate. It is closure. It represents a start and a finish line.
And then the graduate walks across that stage, down the steps into a sea of people. You are at a new starting point. You all are. You are all the same as you were in kindergarten. You are starting over, but in a much bigger playing field. The game of life.
I graduated 41 years ago. I only remember that my high school graduation was inside. Typically, it was outside but there was rain in the forecast. Was I disappointed it was inside? No doubt but graduation happened anyway and I recovered. That is the ONLY thing I remember about High School graduation.
When I graduated four years later from WVU, it was one of the Top Ten days of my life...until I woke up the next day. The party was over. Literally. I had entered the big, bad world of adulthood and there was no turning back. I wish I would have known then what I know today.
And what I would tell you is...
1. The prom will not define your life.
2. There are exciting new things out there for you and they will happen.
3. Sadly, this senior year ending is not the worst thing that will ever happen to you.
4. The four second trip across the stage is not what you would have remembered, it will be everything that got you to the four second journey across the stage.
What you will take with you is a host of memories, the big game, the Fall Festival pie throwing contest, The Hall of Horror, the day your sister fell asleep on the bus and never woke up until the bus was in the parking lot, helping the bus driver back up the bus, nerf gun wars and wing eating contests, field trips with Miss Moore's class, DP and DB, weight lifting, driving the first time to school, your first kiss, your first girlfriend, ALC, Hurricane Florence and the water coming into the gymnasium and a million other things that will make you laugh or make you cry.
The Class of 2020 is an elite group and perhaps, no other class will surpass them. You were 9-11 babies born into a world of terrorism and now a pandemic. You have learned the biggest lesson in life and you are just 18, things do not go the way you planned. You must learn to live the life you were intended to live.
Good things always come from bad and historic events. They do. You have the opportunity to be a part of the good things, the important things.
And Class of 2020, did you want to finish ordinary when you started our extraordinary? You have started your next journey and you are doing it gracefully in a world of uncertainty. What an amazing start to your next adventure.
Parents, have Alexa play the graduation march. I already checked, it is on there...have that
graduate, College or High School, put on that cap and gown, have them march around the house, down the steps, give them longer than four seconds. I can assure you, you will have a much better view and a better photo opportunity. Graduate, throw that cap up in the air and yell something knowing you are an extraordinary member of the extraordinary Class of 2020. Adversity will not define you, you have proven so.
Parents, send your babies out into the world, hold their hands, don't hold them back. Just send them with lots of HOPE in your hearts.
It is all going to be ok...look in to the future with 20-20 vision.
Monday, April 20, 2020
Routine
Typically, I get out of bed before the alarm goes off...somewhere around 5:20am.
I let the dogs out, let the cats in, pee, hit the button on the coffee maker, feed the cats, get the dog food ready, let the dogs back in, start the dryer or take out of the dryer and reload it, no doubt put leftover dishes in the dishwasher(they get very heavy late at night and they must be very heavy for my kids to get them) let the dogs back out and make a cup of coffee.
,
I sit when I can on the back porch, drink a cup of coffee, check the news, email, Words with Friends and social media. After the first cup, I change my clothes and take the dogs on a walk.
I get back home and Addie is in my bathroom. I wait for her to get out, and I get in. When I get out of the shower, I listen for Walker, cause he's next...by the time I am ready, Walker is coming downstairs, I turn on the burner, crack some eggs and hand out dollar bills, finish his eggs, slide them on a plate and one in the bowl for Ranger, wipe down and wipe up, grab my bag and head to the car.
Addie is coming downstairs as I walk out, we say goodbye and our day begins.
Mondays are Scouts, One Wednesday once a month I have Pub Theology and one Thursday a month, a Scout committee meeting sandwiched in by nights at the gym, manicures on Monday afternoon (plain Bubble Bath polish, one coat, own nails), Tuesday morning sales meetings and numerous school activities.
Sunday morning is 8:30am Church and please do not sit in my pew with Sunday dinner and dessert later in the day.
Any roommate I ever had will tell you once I wash my face at night and apply that anti-aging cream, it is over. I am asleep.
Christmas decorations go up Thanksgiving weekend, the tree the following weekend, down the day after Christmas, up go the Snowmen until February 1 when the Valentine's appear. The Valentine's day stuff goes down on 2/14 in the evening. Easter goes up 20 days prior. Sand buckets and pails go up May 1. July 4th decorations make their grand enternace on June 25.
I am a creature of habit. Period. Sheets get washed on Saturdays. Always have. Doubt I ever change. Love a good gym workout on Saturday's too. Followed by a trip to the grocery store and/or farm stand.
I am 59 years old and at any phase of my life, I had a routine.
Until Covid -19.
I don't know what happened. I don't have virus but I came undone
I miss my routine. I am stunned by the speed that my old routine left me. Seriously, one a Thursday I was making plans for Saturday night and bam...a whole new world.
I am grieving for my previous routine.
I still work, remotely.
I get up at the usual time but I started falling apart. Maybe it is because I haven't had a manicure in a month. I am not sure.
It feels different. My life feels different. People are different. Kinder, and even a little gentler.
One the few times I have been out and about, very few cars are joining me. Nobody talks about anything else but Covid-19.
Typically, the only time masks are discussed is sometime in October. Now, that is a common discussion.
My high school senior is finished as of 3/12. Don't feel sorry for him, he has a plan, a new adventure and he has closed the door on this chapter. He is ready to move forward. Of course I am happy for him. There is a tiny part of me that wants to see him throw that hat in the air...but it is ok if he doesn't.
The other high school student, looks at Tik Tok videos and complains while she does her online schooling.
My refrigerator door opens about 119 times per day. My kids are getting a tan from standing in front of the fridge with the door open. They eat constantly. All day long. And sleep. Like infants, get up, eat, potty, got back to bed, and on and on.
I had visions of puzzle building, game playing, movie watching and instead I got, "Mom, watch Tik Tok", or "Make Walker empty the dishwasher, I did it yesterday," and "Mom, it doesn't matter if we put our clothes away or not, if we just let them in the basket, we can take from their."
I want my routine back.
The thought of not getting a routine back till August makes me puke in my mouth.
I don't care about going out to eat, or going to the movies, I just want my normal back.
And, I will even settle for half my normal. Just half.
Then, I feel like a spoiled brat when I see the hospital workers or tired looking Dr. Fauci speaking to the press.
Bet they want their routine back as well.
I guess we all want our routines back and the carbs to go away.
And for people to get well, get in their cars and back out of driveways. Soon.
I let the dogs out, let the cats in, pee, hit the button on the coffee maker, feed the cats, get the dog food ready, let the dogs back in, start the dryer or take out of the dryer and reload it, no doubt put leftover dishes in the dishwasher(they get very heavy late at night and they must be very heavy for my kids to get them) let the dogs back out and make a cup of coffee.
,
I sit when I can on the back porch, drink a cup of coffee, check the news, email, Words with Friends and social media. After the first cup, I change my clothes and take the dogs on a walk.
I get back home and Addie is in my bathroom. I wait for her to get out, and I get in. When I get out of the shower, I listen for Walker, cause he's next...by the time I am ready, Walker is coming downstairs, I turn on the burner, crack some eggs and hand out dollar bills, finish his eggs, slide them on a plate and one in the bowl for Ranger, wipe down and wipe up, grab my bag and head to the car.
Addie is coming downstairs as I walk out, we say goodbye and our day begins.
Mondays are Scouts, One Wednesday once a month I have Pub Theology and one Thursday a month, a Scout committee meeting sandwiched in by nights at the gym, manicures on Monday afternoon (plain Bubble Bath polish, one coat, own nails), Tuesday morning sales meetings and numerous school activities.
Sunday morning is 8:30am Church and please do not sit in my pew with Sunday dinner and dessert later in the day.
Any roommate I ever had will tell you once I wash my face at night and apply that anti-aging cream, it is over. I am asleep.
Christmas decorations go up Thanksgiving weekend, the tree the following weekend, down the day after Christmas, up go the Snowmen until February 1 when the Valentine's appear. The Valentine's day stuff goes down on 2/14 in the evening. Easter goes up 20 days prior. Sand buckets and pails go up May 1. July 4th decorations make their grand enternace on June 25.
I am a creature of habit. Period. Sheets get washed on Saturdays. Always have. Doubt I ever change. Love a good gym workout on Saturday's too. Followed by a trip to the grocery store and/or farm stand.
I am 59 years old and at any phase of my life, I had a routine.
Until Covid -19.
I don't know what happened. I don't have virus but I came undone
I miss my routine. I am stunned by the speed that my old routine left me. Seriously, one a Thursday I was making plans for Saturday night and bam...a whole new world.
I am grieving for my previous routine.
I still work, remotely.
I get up at the usual time but I started falling apart. Maybe it is because I haven't had a manicure in a month. I am not sure.
It feels different. My life feels different. People are different. Kinder, and even a little gentler.
One the few times I have been out and about, very few cars are joining me. Nobody talks about anything else but Covid-19.
Typically, the only time masks are discussed is sometime in October. Now, that is a common discussion.
My high school senior is finished as of 3/12. Don't feel sorry for him, he has a plan, a new adventure and he has closed the door on this chapter. He is ready to move forward. Of course I am happy for him. There is a tiny part of me that wants to see him throw that hat in the air...but it is ok if he doesn't.
The other high school student, looks at Tik Tok videos and complains while she does her online schooling.
My refrigerator door opens about 119 times per day. My kids are getting a tan from standing in front of the fridge with the door open. They eat constantly. All day long. And sleep. Like infants, get up, eat, potty, got back to bed, and on and on.
I had visions of puzzle building, game playing, movie watching and instead I got, "Mom, watch Tik Tok", or "Make Walker empty the dishwasher, I did it yesterday," and "Mom, it doesn't matter if we put our clothes away or not, if we just let them in the basket, we can take from their."
I want my routine back.
The thought of not getting a routine back till August makes me puke in my mouth.
I don't care about going out to eat, or going to the movies, I just want my normal back.
And, I will even settle for half my normal. Just half.
Then, I feel like a spoiled brat when I see the hospital workers or tired looking Dr. Fauci speaking to the press.
Bet they want their routine back as well.
I guess we all want our routines back and the carbs to go away.
And for people to get well, get in their cars and back out of driveways. Soon.
Sunday, March 29, 2020
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: What I needed to know about the pandemic, I learne...
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: What I needed to know about the pandemic, I learne...: My girlfriends says to me, "I thought by now you would have blogged about the pandemic." I looked up at her and replied, " ...
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