I Am Woman

When I was about 12 years old, I wanted to join the Columbia House Record Club.  I knew I had to ask my mom and prove that I had enough money for the next three records for her to give me the okay.  Much to my surprise, she was all about it.  We joined.  We both loved music.

Our long-playing albums would arrive, and we were so happy.

Then, I got an eight track, portable player that would operate with batteries or electricity.  I have never been "techy" but damn, I thought that player was the coolest thing ever!  

During our Columbia House membership, we start choosing the eight tracks because my dad put one in our car.  So, my mom and I agreed on Helen Reddy...I am Woman.

Like most woman of the 70's, we put in the eight tracks, roll the windows down and jam to "I AM WOMAN".  It was awesome.  Way before Taylor, Helen Reddy united women everywhere.

Fast forward about thirty-five years...

 Twenty years ago, when I was a mother of three children, my Marine neighbor stopped me outside and said, "heard you are getting new neighbors across the street from you...Know them...retired Colonel in the Marine Corp... tough...and another Marine....you have your work cut out for you".

Intrigued.  Why did I have my work cut out for me?  The warning man was also a Colonel in the Marine Corp, why did he say this?  I mean my kids were spirited but two were little and the "button" was only 10, what could he possible mean?

The "ladies" moved in.  One a retired Marine Corp Colonel and one an enlisted Marine (didn't know her rank...only knew about the Colonel).  Turns out, they each had homes, no children and sold homes and moved in together because family members were few and far away.

My first encounter is when they invited us to a Home Blessing.  I had never been to a Home Blessing, and I was curious and thinking what a nice gesture the invitation was to us.

As we walked across the street, two small children in tow, I realized that there were Priests and many guests.  I was a bit nervous.  I had toddlers.  I decided to keep them outside...safer and just listen to the Priests as they spoke from the outside.

In the backyard, there was a full-blown Carolina BBQ catering job going down.  The ribs did smell great.

As the Preist said the final AMEN, little Walker said, during that moment when nobody else was speaking or moving, "Do you all smell that good food they have cooking?"

I can still see him in his navy and white seersucker overalls and little white T-Shirt with his blonde hair looking at the crowd for acknowledgement while my other neighbors laughed.  They knew I was mortified.

As Walker and Addie ate two bowls of Banana Pudding, I said my goodbyes and walked across the street, toddlers in tow again.

This was the beginning of a friendship that was a little unlikely and lasted twenty years.

Two very structured women with no children and very used to quiet and calm were my neighbors.  My neighbor should have warned them, not me.

Casual waves, weather chats, Ruthie (our kitten/cat) chats, (she sunned on their porch) and gardening discussions were the glue.  

And the random discussions became more frequent.

In one discussion, they told me they had no plans for Thanksgiving, so, without hesitation, I invited them to Thanksgiving dinner.  They told me they would let me know.  When I told Franklin, he laughed.  

"They are not coming.  They didn't want to hurt your feelings". 

"Why are they not coming?"

"Who would give up peace quiet at Thanksgiving to come to this crazy place?"

They got back to me and told me they were graciously accepting out invite.

They attended Thanksgiving at our home for many years after.  I loved having them.  Their presence made me step up my game...always when company comes.

And those two women became adopted by our family.  They attended Easter parties, Christmas Eve and sometimes Christmas Dinner, sporting events and cheerleading events, they were an extended part of our family. 

The Colonel was always sure to tell our daughter, at any time, "keep your shit together and do not let a man screw it up for you."  I loved it when she told her this.  

One of the most fun evenings we ever had involved several ladies on my back porch, several bottles of wine and a 4:30am confession from the Colonel, "at my funeral, I want "I am Women" played at my funeral.  When that casket comes rolling down the aisle, I want it blaring."

The years went by then the aging process stepped in.  At first it was just a "step" and then it became more of a "leap" and the decision was made for my friends to move to Tennessee to assisted living.

I understood the need and the decision, I just didn't want it to happen. 

About 30 days after my friends made it back it to the Colonel's home state of Tennessee, she passed.

While it was not a surprise, my heart was broken.

Last Monday, I attended her celebration of life in a tiny country church in Tennessee.  Sadly, I have attended several Celebrations of Life lately, but I am not sure if I ever have or ever will again experience what did in that humble country Church.

There were several women in attendance, mostly retired Colonels from the US Marine Corp, a Marine Corp Chaplain, elderly people who traveled over eight hours and dear old friends.

It was explained that my friend, during her tenure as Colonel, was a teacher, who instructed other females on how to become Colonels.  I listened to these stories about how these women were intimidated by my friend and they were scared of her, until they met her.  

I wondered if "in this class, there were ever questions like, "does this uniform make my hips look big" or "what color lipstick should I wear?"

Every one of these women explained that while they were initially intimidated by her, not only was she a fabulous leader, mentor, teacher, ground breaker but most importantly, a friend.

They smiled when they spoke about her, these women spoke with conviction about friendship, they spoke with strength about the importance of women in the Marine Corp, the Marine Corp and the bond they all have.  It was inspirational.  They may not have had friendship bracelets from the ERAS tour, they had ranks.

Finally, at the gravesite, a lady read a poem, it moved me.  The poem was about not just about being a Marine, but being a Lady Marine...filled with dignity, grace and friendship.

There is nothing stronger than the bond of friendship...girlfriends, sisters, mothers and grandmothers.  I cannot imagine the bond these ladies have.  Not had, have.  It will always have. 

As we ate the best green beans ever and other homemade southern cooking, the CD was turned on and Helen Reddy serenaded us, "yes I'm wise, but it's wisdom born of pain, yes I paid the price, but look how much I've gained, If I have to, I can do anything...I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman. " 

Here's to girlfriends, even if they are unlikely and here's to Helen and the Colonel.