It is one of those stories that has stood the test of time. Anybody who knew me when I was a junior at WVU in Morgantown WV most likely knows about this story. Every Valentine's Day, this story enters my mind and I think of it fondly.
This week, I had a conversation with me BF and I think I am now looking at the Valentine story differently.
Long before meal cards, VENMO, debit cards, credit cards for college kids and Insta-cart, I was a college student in 1981.
It was February and I was broke. My roommate and I lived on potatoes. We were the Bubba Gump of taters. We boiled them, baked them, fried them or chopped them and topped them with butter packs that we stole from McDonalds. We were broke.
Oatmeal was our other go to meal. Cheap. Fills you up and you could steal sugar packs to put on top of the oatmeal. And it was warm on those cold, snowy mornings.
When we lived high on the hog, my roommate, who also worked as a bartender, would bring the leftover popcorn home and we would sprinkle it with sugar and milk and it and eat it like Sugar Pops.
Yes, we were broke.
In addition, our washer broke and the landlord didn't fix it.
I had turned my underwear inside out and back in and out several times. My clothes were dirty.
And it was gray and cold in Morgantown and I had the winter blues.
Thank goodness I come from a family of card lovers and card senders. I swear our name means "Hallmark" in another language.
I came to my apartment and checked the mail. And there it was, in the shiny red envelope, a Hallmark with a sticker. I knew immediately it was from my Mamaw, she nailed very distinctive penmanship.
I opened the Valentine and "it" fell out. "It" was a ten dollar bill. "It" was a 1982 ten dollar bill and worth a bunch more than a 2022 ten dollar bill.
I grabbed that ten dollar billed and rejoiced on that porch of my apartment in Morgantown, West Virginia like I was Charlie getting the golden ticket in the streets that sealed his trip with Willy Wonka.
My friend volunteered his car so I could do laundry. I still remember the smell of the car, filled with bags of dirty clothes versus the smell on the way home.
And then, I did what every broke college student would do who had $7 left from the Valentine windfall, I called my bff and my two crazy friends.
Two dollar pitchers at the Chestnut Pub, on me. The Chestnut Pub will always be one of my favorite college memories and from this night.
We drank those two dollar pitchers, even lived high on the hog and ordered a crock of pretzel rods with dip and had a large time. Playboy poses and a million laughs.
My grandmother has now rolled over in her grave about 100 times.
This past week, the same bff who did an array of poses that night, called me. And a few tears were shed, "my kids don't need me anymore."
Her kids are older, in the late 30's or approaching the 30's. Married, single, the gauntlet.
There are no more carpools, teams to coach or Valentine's to buy for the classroom party, the new phase of her life is here.
I listened to her tears and her angst and felt for her.
I really didn't miss my kids when they all left. I knew they were coming back.
And then my daughter announced she is getting a summer job in Colorado and really will only home about twenty days in 2022. And she did it all by herself.
And then it hit me too, my kids no longer need me like they did.
Ugh.
All those times I wanted them to pee in the potty, tie their own shoes, pour the milk on the cereal, bit me in the heart.
Being needed can be overwhelming and depleting. Being needed can fill your heart.
This year, more than any other time, I missed being needed. I missed my kids. I missed Valentine's day with them.
And so, I sent the V-Day package.
Insane, my kids do not need any candy but I needed to send it.
My kids don't need me to remind them I am their mom, but I needed to remind them.
Maybe that is what my grandmother was feeling when she sent that card. She always sent to all five grandkids but maybe she missed being needed. Perhaps she knew I needed. Or maybe to remind me that she was my grandmother.
My bff is fine now. Adjusting but fine.
I am adjusting too.
Give or send a Valentine.
It just maybe the boost someone needed.
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