Best Valentine's Day Ever!

I started this blog years ago because my oldest son was in heavy addiction and while I thought we could offer him help, we could not.  As a result, we were a family in crisis.


Through the pain, the visiting days at rehab and the county jail, the arrests and the horrible words that were spoken, I found peace in this blog.


It is never easy airing your dirty laundry to the world.  But, if you can help one person it is worth the pain. 


During this time, my preacher at church did a sermon about "You have to be broken before you can blossom", the story of the sunflower. 


The sunflower seed has a hard case, it is planted in the dark soil, and after a few days, rises to the surface.  Over weeks, the stalk gets bigger and stronger and finally a blossom appears.  And finally, the blossom opens and faces the sun.  "You have to be broken before you can blossom."


After that sermon on that Sunday, Addie and I bought every packet of sunflower seeds we could find and we started planting, everywhere and anywhere.


During those years of addictive addition, it was hell.  Then, he was shot and became a paraplegic.  Again, hell.  Followed by more hell. 


And finally, last March, some peace.  Forward motion.  Renewed Hope and love.


Yesterday, I was coming through the neighborhood and saw the Flower Delivery truck leaving our neighborhood.  Never thought a thing about this.


When I got home, there they were....flowers.  Sunflowers!  And a card, but without a name.  I had no idea who they were from.


I had a few guesses but they just didn't make sense.

I asked my husband if they were from him and he said, no.  I could tell they were not from him.

I was stumped.  Stumped.

I had to leave the house for an event...and on my way there, I was melancholy.  My last wrestling event.  I was sad so I called my "button".  Seemed fitting that on the way to my last wrestling event, I would call the one that started wrestling.

And then he asked, "have you been home yet?"

It was the tonality.  "yes, did you send me flowers?"

"Of course."

Of course?  Years of hell.  Years.  With no hope and I seriously did not know that I would ever see my son again.

I was stunned and happy.  And loved.  After all the love, care, patience and hope that was extended over some very dark years, finally the kick in the heart that made me know, it was not in vain but with purpose and love.

I can remember when I was a new, young mother, waking up during the middle of the night and early in the mornings, I was just waiting for the first smile, the first sign of "I know you are my mom".  I will never forget that first smile...I was putting on a onsie talking to Walker, describing his outfit when he looked at me and smiled, big and bright.  It was the fuel that kept me going.

It wasn't about the flowers, it was absolutely the thought.  Absolutely.  And it was the message, "you have to be broken before you blossom."  Always stay addicted to HOPE.