Anyway, I did everything I could.
I had an agenda, gestation period, room ready, thank you notes written, name picked, everything.
Kind of like the name of this blog....things happened.
After birthing the 9 pound 11 ounce bruiser, while I was in recovery, we discovered my uterus ruptured. It was serious, nine hours later, I was finally wheeled to my room and finally got to see my baby.
I didn't get to go home when I wanted, had to bled tons of blood and somewhere during all that, the way I thought birth a baby would happen, did not happen.
During all my pregnancy prep, breastfeeding was at the top for me for so many reasons.
So after 42 years of carrying enormous breasts around, they didn't work.
I would spend an entire day hooked up to an automatic breast pump to get a half cup of breast milk. I did this for a month. One night, in the spirit of help, Franklin nuked the half cup. You cannot nuke breast milk. I had the meltdown of epic proportion and my mom came in and said, "stop it, just stop it. Give it up, give him formula, he will be fine. Stop it, this isn't working, you tried, you tried hard now end it."
I did. I ended it. He is 16 and a beast. My mom was right.
A few month later, after I delivered Adeline, the La Leche ladies visited my room.
"This is your second child, you ARE going to breast feed, right?"
When I looked up at those ladies and said, "I am not so sure."
"What? No breast feeding?"
I was scorned by society within hours of delivering my second child.
Those ladies are awesome and I appreciate them, but with a typical sales mistake, they never asked how my previous experience was, they just assumed.
My intentions were certainly to breastfeed but I was preparing myself to not be able to again so if I could not and did not produce milk again, I would not be so hard on myself again.
I also did not divulge to the ladies that I had my electronic pump in my suitcase and had planned on hooking up to it before they even arrived. It all worked out.
That moment when I told the volunteers, "I am not so sure..." and the judgment that flowed so quickly from them is what it is like when you say "I am not evacuating."
Eleven days ago, I watched a red dot moving in the ocean. The forecaster introduced my to Florence and said, "it is going to be a whopper and is one to watch."
I did. I didn't tell my family, it was eight days away. Last Sunday, it was something to watch.
And so it began, "Franklin, it is a four, what are we doing?" "Wait patiently, things will change, but let's get ready."
"If it is a four, I'm out of here."
"Ok, but I am staying. Let's get ready first, things will change." He was right.
My husband got to North Carolina because he lost everything in Andrew. Andrew was a five. He takes hurricanes seriously. He stayed during Andrew. He watched his wash and dryer fly through the house and end up in his pool. He gets it. But, he also knew that at the very last minute, Andrew took a left that wasn't predicted and changed the course of his destiny.
And so it started. The Florence Follies. Here are just SOME of the things that you need to do before a Hurricane. Keep in mind, it is ALWAYS 200 degrees of 98% humidity when you are doing these things.
1. Get and keep a full tank of gas in the car.
2. Check insurance
3. Get cash (ATMS use electricity)
4. Pull out boards from garage.
5. Hang boards.
6. Get out generator.
7. Start up generator.
8. Fix generator if needed.
9. Get gas for generator. Lots of gas.
10. Make sure there is pet food and kitty litter for the outside cats who are going to lose it during the storm.
11. Get insurance documents printed and seal in double zip lock bags.
12. Pack suitcases.
13. Do laundry and run dishwasher.
14. Gather precious items. Store in container. (This act takes me hours)
15. Remove picture from the walls. Hide under floor furnishings.
16. Continue to work at current job.
17. Remain cool.
18. Go thru freezer.
19. Make grocery list and risk life in the grocery store.
20. Get more gas.
And after all of this, the question remains, "Should we stay or should we go?"
As the kids got wind of this, no pun intended, they said, "let's stay. We want to stay."
As the red circle spun, and the storm was downgraded, we decided to stay. Franklin was very transparent with them about what it would be like, it had been awhile since there was a bigger storm and they don't remember, and he said, "all hands on deck."
I know two things about my husband, he would never put me or any of his children in harm's way.
Franklin and Walker were in charge of the boarding and the generator.
Addie and I took over outdoor furniture and the inside.
We finished.
Thursday morning we got up, the rain started and the power went out before the first rain band went over our house.
And so it began.
I understand that if I was sitting at home and I saw a Category 4 Hurricane, 3 even a 2, I would be the first one who would say, "What crazy person would stay?"
Yes, I would be that person.
I started writing this blog on Friday. Added on Saturday. It is Tuesday morning and I have changed so many things.
I read several reasons why folks stay during hurricanes. "Afraid of death, not afraid of death, irresponsible and all kinds of things."
Here is why I will always stay (unless it is a Five) from now on.
1. We spoke to one another. Yes, we spoke to one another WITHOUT any distractions. Conversations. Lots of them. Connected conversations. All unplugged.
2. We learned to FLOSS.
3. We lived in a house that was easily 98 degrees inside. We slept in it. We survived.
We learned to appreciate air conditioning.
4. My kids took naps, together. They talked. Nothing was distracting them. They had conversations that didn't involved Snapchat or streaks or stories.
5. We worked outside in the rain in soaking wet shoes and socks and they lived.
6.They learned to get a pitcher and a bowl and bathe with a bowl and a pitcher, Washcloth and soap.
7. Sunday night I made dinner. It was a mismatch of everything that needed cooked. Walker said the prayer and we held hands. Walker prayed for peace and comfort to others.
8. We watched a Western together.
9. We saw so much devastation. So much. It was heartbreaking. We saw grown men cry in their homes that are now totally ruined. And we saw a new widow cry when an army of helpers showed up to clean her yard.
10. My kids were humbled. They had "swamp ass" and had to keep going. Air conditioning is a privilege, not a necessity.
11. When we got the word that the local pizza joint was opened, cheese or pepperoni, Franklin stood in line for a "cash only" pizza. My kids have never been so appreciative for a pizza ever. It was good to be without.
12. My kids worked like mules for four days. No monies were exchanged. They worked to fuel their hearts. They didn't really get it at first, but they quickly figured it out.
13. In a world of Ipads, I pods and I phones, my kids saw that some things are not in an instant anymore. It will take some folks months to fix and resume the lives they knew. They saw this.
Look, I get it. It makes sense, leave.
But you leave and you cannot return. You leave and your cannot fix. Two of the folks we visited today would have lost everything if they would have evacuated. And I get it, it is stuff...just stuff but you stay because you it is yours and you want to protect. I also think that traveling on the highway with 2.3 million hysterical drivers is insane and sitting through a hurricane is safer.
Franklin and I have seen grown men cry in their trashed bedrooms as water streams out of electrical outlets or pregnant women sift through flooded belongings and look over at the garage and say, "He was making the baby the crib but his tools are ruined." And in both instances, both said, "But, we are so blessed."
I saw a second of the looting video on the Internet, the scene from Wilmington.
Trust me, that is NOT the real scene. Folks are kind, dirty, hot sweaty, tired and sad but most importantly, KIND. Rallying around one another and helping out. Volunteering, giving back.
Coastal Carolina, we are now the victims of a natural disaster. We stop and wave at lineman and praise the sun in the morning. We need sun. The root, the core of all of this, we love where we live. We are proud of our home and our small towns.
We stayed (and trust me, many, many, many left) but we stayed to save our businesses, our homes and our community.
Rome wasn't built in a day but our schools will be repaired and the gasoline lines will disappear. The term "War zone" will subside and "the Lovely Crystal Coast" will be the replacement.
I have loved watching my daughter dance but seeing her on a ladder, unscrewing screws with a power tool and removing boards made my face beam.
Walker loves chainsaws now more than Oreos. I am getting him one for Christmas.
The lessons and the being humbled, that would have happened in regardless in a situation of this magnitude, I am just glad we were there from the beginning. Would I do it again, yes. Was it hell? Yes. Would I do it again? Yes. Was staying worth it? Yes.
Just like breastfeeding, I had all the best plans. It wasn't supposed to be. Sometimes that is the case. You start out thinking one thing and bam! you are redirected. Sometimes a witch like Flo comes in and redirects you.
If you want to support our area, make a trip, eat in the local restaurants, shop and take a chartered fishing trip.
Shine on Crystal Coast!
