Not at all what you are thinking. I would be in my jammies with a freshly washed head (in the dreaded kitchen sink, once a week, Breck shampoo whether you needed it or not) and pink sponge curlers in my hair for Church the next morning. What was so wonderful about Saturday nights without the parental unit?
Two bottles of ice cold Coca Cola, Lays potato chips, helluva good onion dip and Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart and Carole Burnett.
We were allowed to eat of the kitchen, set up on the fireplace hearth and laugh.
Just me and my brother. We loved it.
And we loved Mary. Mary.
To this day, when my brother and I are together at dinner celebration, he always says, "Do we have enough food? We don't need a Mr. Grant situation." My brother's favorite episode, Mary has a dinner party, invites Mr. Grant to dinner, he is served first and literally takes 25% of the main dish and she has to tell him to put it back. We laughed for days.
And later in life, I took Mary with me. I will never forget wanting the apartment in Camp Hill, above the Pennsylvania Bakery, the Mary Tyler Moore apartment. I named the apartment "MTM" and every female I knew, knew what that meant.
As I watched her shows, I dreamed of living independently, in an apartment where light streamed from the windows and the Murphy bed popped out. I envied her "grown up girlfriends" and was eager to have a life like hers. I started watching her at eleven
The day my divorce attorney and I broke up, and the decree was signed, I stood outside his office on High Street in Carlisle, Pa, threw my hat up in the air and yelled, "I'm going to make it after all." Walked to my little gray, four door Honda Civic and drove back to Greenville, SC so I could. No stopping or crying.
Funny that Mary died days after the women's marches. While I didn't march, I knew several who did. I have watched the same news clips and have seen the same nasty posts and turn a deaf ear every time the word "Madonna" comes up in a sentence. Not because I don't believe in females and our voices but because of the presentation.
Mary Tyler Moore was one of the first females to wear pants on TV. Yep, pants. She was told only one time an episode. She asked and fought for pants. She got it. A few seasons into it, the pants were no longer an issue. She broke that barrier.
There was talk about a love interest on the show for Mary. She said no. Wasn't going to go that route. That is why she moved to Minneapolis, she was dumped by her finance. I think the story was she supported him through med school and then he dumped her.
Even after years of Mr. Grant and Mary just being friends, they did take a stab at being more and it was awful. Mary loved that her friends were men and valued them.
She didn't need a love interest, her life was full. She didn't need a man.
Mary wasn't always sure of herself, she made mistakes, she laughed at herself but she kept blazing forward with grace. When Rhoda entered the seen, Rhoda was divorced. OMG, a divorcee in pants living in the same building as a single working female with a brain. Wow, so much to handle.
I remember an episode where a "gay" fellow was on the show. I asked my mom, "what is gay?" My mom didn't answer.
She stood up to Mr. Grant as an employee and as a female with class. She discovered she was paid less than the man who previously held her position and she was fired up. I remember how nervous she was asking for the raise but backed down because the man had kids and needed the money. And while Mary was upset about it, she had a heart.
The show ended in 1977, two years before I graduated from high school. When I entered middle school, you still wore dresses. And then we were(girls) were allowed to wear jeans but only on Fridays.
Mary was a voice for all females in the 1970's. She didn't scream, use obscenities, threaten to burn down buildings or be crude, she led by example. She advocated for pants. It was a tiny but significant moment for females. She was independent. She didn't stand on a podium and shout, she spoke in an inside voice to millions of women weekly and maybe didn't even realize how they followed her. And she said, no boyfriend.
Sometimes it isn't how loudly you speak, it is how many who really listen.
Successful. Happy. Mary had a voice. A purpose and she knew she had meaning.
I bawled my eyes out at the last episode. Mary gets fired. Mary apologizes to the man that fired her, calls him a runt and starts her new life. Again. Victimized by a man again.
I didn't cry because Mary got fired. I cried because I felt like my friend Mary moved away. We broke up. She was gone. My professional role model was gone.
I knew Mary Richards was just a character. But she was real. I saw myself, except for the tall, lean body, in her. I wanted to be her. I wanted that apartment. I wanted her job. I wanted her life. I even wanted a Mr. Grant.
And she is gone.
But her lessons stayed with me. My MTM apartment (that I decided not to get, still regret that decision) my girlfriends, my guy friends, my independence. (should have listened to her about that first marriage and gone for the MTM apartment).
This morning in the car, doing the morning drop off, I tried to engage my kids into the "do you guys have a role model?" They said they really didn't . I couldn't even think of one person on television that they might aspire to be like or hail a hero. I cannot think of one female that my daughter can look up to right now. Sad.
I threw up my hat in the air the day I regained my independence.
And thirty years later, I can name that theme song in three notes, "you're going to make it after all."
I am putting on my jammies tonight and breaking out the ice cold bottles of water instead of the Coca Cola (too much sugar, she would approve) and raising my bottle...Thanks for turning my world on with your smile.
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