My parents would fight the entire 20 minute trip there and Crazy Russell would just completely antagonize my mom. We would have to pull over because he "thought he saw a deer" or he would open up the car while he drove to spit his tobacco. Whatever he could come up with in the car to antagonize my mother, he did.
Upon arrival we would be greeted by my grandmother. She was wicked. She hated kids. It was all good because we were not fond of her either. She would escort me back into a bedroom to build a "new puzzle." Will give her this, she bought great jigsaw puzzles. She wanted me to be secluded as much as I wanted to be. It was a fair trade off. I sat in the back bedroom and did jigsaw puzzles.
In the living room, an assortment of characters every years. Peg with the crazy laugh, Roz the cousin that I had ZERO in common with, she was a nuclear physicist. Need I say more? Or maybe my Aunt Dorothy. A wonderful soul with the prettiest skin, ever. Uncle Jack who was really Walter Matthau and several others over the years.
If dinner was supposed to be ready at 2pm, that means we ate at 6:30. Apparently, the kitchen and the living room were in different times zones. And the meal was awful.
She would cram us, and I do mean cram, into this room and table. When you cut your meat, the crystals from the chandelier would jingle. There was no room. I distinctly, to this day, remember the wilted lettuce piece with the lime green jello salad with sliced carrots in it just jiggling while folks moved in their seats. The only highlight was the Islay's Ice cream square that had the chocolate turkey in the middle. It was all about the presentation. Nothing about substance. Nothing.
Betty Bahneman's table always looked the cover of Southern Living. It was amazing. The food on it, not so much. She was a horrible cook. And the fun before hand, zero. Zero fun.
After dinner we would drive home and complain about the meal, Peg's laugh and we could never understand anything Roz said. One year we stopped on the way home to get something to eat. That is how bad the food was. And my mom always made a turkey for us to eat when we got home.
Never a fun day. Especially when I knew that across town, my cousins and my mamaw were having a "real" Thanksgiving.
As I became an adult, the day just seemed like a ton of work for one meal. And, I couldn't buy into the meaning. My brother either. We just didn't care. Our parents were divorced and it was time for our own Thanksgiving traditions.
I chose not to have one until I married Franklin.
And in the beginning, even though I really couldn't feel the day, it began to grow on me.
Maybe I have seen too many black and white movie clips of the Kennedy's...playing football, laughing, sea breeze blowing the hair but I never felt that magical Thanksgiving moment. Or so I thought.
I woke up this morning, the sun was pouring into my window and you could feel some of the cool breeze coming inside. It felt like fall. I loved the stillness in the house and remained still myself. My head started to race with everything I wanted to get done today.
I got out of bed, made a cup of coffee, let animals in and out and sat down to do the shopping list and menu for the "big turkey day".
Our guest list has always included two of our neighbor friends and us. It seems that we have "cameo appearances" every year too. This year, a Marine nephew and his family and the mother of an actor who is married to an academy award winning actress. In my house. With paper napkins. I hope someone tells her that Steeler T-shirts are perfect Thanksgiving apparel. My friend KB. And our friend Steve.
As I completed my list, I went over it to make sure that there was something that everyone would like.
I sat back in my chair for a moment and had a "moment." It was kind of like the Grinch when he is at the top of the hill and he hears the Who's in Who-ville coming out to sing and hold hands around the tree.
I just became overwhelmed with all that my family had to be Thankful for this year. We are well, we just voted in an election, both of us were able to vote, male and female. My parents, alive and well. The "button" communicates with us, not much but we hear from him. My teenagers are thriving. We have a roof over our heads, I can turn on the sink and water comes out, light switch and the lights come on. A new baby was coming into the family. We have each other. We have had a year of adventures, trips new personal challenges and opportunities, growth and had achieved goals. Moving forward, we have committed to a new adventure and goals, we have each other.
As simple as this sounded, it was true. We have so much to Celebrate.
Last year, I invited my friend Shelia and her husband. I didn't expect them to come. She had been ill. She said yes but in the back of my mind, I didn't think they would show up. I understood but I was thrilled that day when they did.
The neighbors across the street were here and our neighbor friend down the street was our cameo appearance. We sat around the table and talked after dinner and laughed. Really laughed. Another person came over and we were just talking and laughing. I guess we are too old for touch football games in black and white videos so we talked instead.
One of the topics became "selfie sticks" and "what is a selfie stick, how do you work it, etc." Of course, Adeline is all about a selfie stick so she went upstairs to get hers. We agreed to take a Thanksgiving selfie. No shocker, but the men opted out of the selfie photo. Every day I am so thankful for that photo.
As it turns out, it was my friend's first selfie and last Thanksgiving. I am so thankful that she came last year.I am thankful for time we spent laughing around a table. I am thankful that people feel comfortable around my table with my mismatched turkey plates and two table put together and mismatched silverware.
It isn't about the turkey, it is about the coming together. It isn't about the table, it is who and why they are sitting there. It isn't about the jiggling jello salad, it is about who made it, and for whom. I know my friend didn't care about the mismatched silver, she cared about the laughs. It is about your heart smiling. Thanksgiving is about being thankful for what you have and what you have had in your heart and who has touched your heart along the way.
This Thanksgiving....take a moment. Look around the table and know who blessed you are. For dessert, do yourself a real favor, take a group selfie. You will be glad you did.
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