Congratulations Mom...ummm I mean Graduate.

Last week, I flew into Walgreen's to buy a sympathy card.  As I was lingering over the cards, beside me was a mom and her son.  The son was obviously graduating in a few days.

"Mom, come on, it is just a card."

She let out an exasperated sigh and said, "They need to be make" Congratulations Graduate" cards for mothers."

"Why, what do they do?"  She stepped on his foot so I didn't have to.

The night of the button's graduation, on the way, we told him that afterward we were going to dinner.

"Why?"

"Because, it has been a long 13 years (don't forget kindergarten) and I am hungry."

"Why, what does my graduation have to do with you being hungry?"

We had a twenty minute trip to the school and I didn't want to hear "WHY" one more time so I answered him...

"Here is why I am hungry...the last thirteen years I have  registered you for kindergarten and first grade, took you to get you all of your shots so you could attend kindergarten and first grade, made doctors appointments for 13 physicals over the last 13 years, stayed home when you were sick, took you to the doctors when you were sick, picked your prescriptions, shopped for thirteen years worth of school supplies and still don't know what you ever did with 13 years worth of index cards, took you back to school shopping thirteen times, washed your backpack every other Friday, packed your lunch 2,210  times, bought the groceries to pack those lunches, ROCKED about 12 Di-A-RAMA's including the Red Fox one that we (I mean me) glued to a Popsicle stick so it could run away from the car into the woods, Proofread about 50 papers, relearned all my states and Capital cities while quizzing you, woke you up for school two thousand mornings, picked out your clothes one thousand times, signed your agenda about 1,870 times, signed 153 permissions slips, made an additional 101 trips to elementary, middle and then high school to drop off what you forgot, purchased over 52 teacher gifts for Christmas and then 52 teacher gifts for the end of the school year, attended 13 "Meet the Teacher" nights, attended about 30000 parent-teacher conferences (which I know is not the norm but..) made about 500 decorated cupcakes (and my cupcakes were awesome) for special events, made about 10 cakes for the cake walk for the fall festival, volunteered about 20 hours for the Fall Festival, fed about 50 wrestling refs enormous amounts of foods during 12 Saturdays of my life, read over 387 books to you, including all of the Harry Potter Books, Johnny Tremain, Willy Wonka and Charlotte's Web to you on trips because reading in the car made you sick, stuffed about 700 Easter Eggs for Easter Egg Hunts over the years, reminded you it was picture day 12 times, made sure you had a haircut and clean teeth for picture day, ordered pictures, took you to get your Senior Pictures taken, attended 5th Grade Graduation, 8th Grade Graduation, ordered your cap and gown, ordered 10 year books, ordered 13 class shirts, purchased and washed weekly gym suits ,took you to pick out Valentines six times, helped you address them,purchased  8 backpacks and over 20 pairs of shoes, wrote your name in over one thousand items ,Surpassed all teacher expectations on at least 12 poster board projects including "The Story of Me" where you got(really it means what I got you) 15 extra credit points, searched your head for lice about five times, pretended I knew what your art work was and that I thought it looked good, checked your pockets before i washed them and read about 24 love notes from little girls, purchased three instruments and listened to you practice learning Hot Crossed Buns on all three of them for hours, attended twelve band concerts (so relieved that you did not play Hot Cross Buns), attended about 8 band competitions, 117 wrestling events, purchased 117 Snickers bars for your matches, typed papers when you were too tired from work or wrestling, emailed about 32 teachers numerous times, drilled you with your multiplication tables, spelling words, months of the year, picked you up from After School 1,020 times and made sure there was a snack in the car all 1020 times, encouraged you not to give up 1 million times and thanked you for your perseverance 1020 times, asked you 2,353 times what the best part of your day was and what you had learned that day, said 12 million prayers that you would do well in school, you would make friends, your teacher wouldn't give up and you would respond to your teacher, listened to you tell me 15,000 times that the teacher didn't like you and was just trying to get you in trouble and everyone knew it, I could just ask your friends, proctored End of Grade testing six times (would still rather have a colon-oscopy than this) and signed 52 report cards and stalked E-Grades your senior year 16199 times ,ironed your graduation gown and then hung it up in the bathroom so it would stay fresh looking and so yes, I am hungry.  I think I deserve a cheeseburger that doesn't come wrapped while I am driving you somewhere."

So...to all of you moms that have a son or daughter walking across a stage to retrieve a diploma, stand up, kick your heels up and celebrate your "MOM Diploma."  You Earned it.