the story of kids,chaos, mothering challenges and sometimes chocolate
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: The ALS Challenge and Back to School Shopping
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: The ALS Challenge and Back to School Shopping: I am not a shopper. I go in, get what I need and leave. I am like a belly button, in or out. I would rather be outside working in my flow...
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
The ALS Challenge and Back to School Shopping
I am not a shopper. I go in, get what I need and leave. I am like a belly button, in or out. I would rather be outside working in my flowers or sitting in my "chair", no bra, favorite show, debit card and a dot.com.
Shopping is not my thing.
When we first moved to this area, the area mall was my client. I would go to visit my person and then stroll the stores at lightening speed.
One particular day, right before school started, I went into the GAP to purchase "soft shirts" for "the button." There they were. A young wife, two young children and a husband in a wheel chair. They were shopping away. I didn't stare but the image stayed with me...cause I wondered. "Would I bring my husband out and about if he were in the same state?" Most likely not.
I went through the stores and when I got in parking lot, there they were...she was putting him in the van.
Again, wow.
Weeks later, I was invited to a Mary Kay party. The hostess was a woman whose husband had ALS . Never did I see a woman more worthy of a foundation and blush sale.
Months went by and again, I saw "family" at the school. The "button's" school. I couldn't believe it. The hostess from the Mary Kay party was the mom in the GAP.
We lived in a small town and I knew some people but I did not know their stories. I did not know their passion's.
Month's later, the radio station I managed was asked to help sponsor the ALS walk. I jumped at the chance. I kept thinking of the "family in THE GAP."
Later, I spent the day with the lady's sister at a band concert. And during that crisp, fall day, I learned of a love story between a Marine and his wife and how ALS changed their lives. I listened to the sister tell about how her sister went in front of congress to speak about ALS. Wow, it takes courage to be a mom and wife. It takes amazing courage to speak in front of congress. It takes courage to be ill and still participate in your kid's lives.
It wasn't about school shopping that day...it was about being with the kids and the wife, while he still could. It was about being a family, a typical family. It was about vows, sickness and health...good times and bad. Commitment.
I have been in marketing all my professional life. The ALS bucket challenge began when former pro golfer Greg Norman challenged NBC Morning Show Host, Matt Lauer to a ice bucket challenge or donate money to the favorite charity.
Who knew? All successful marketing campaigns begin with Awareness. Who knew? A bucket of cold water and millions of dollars.
I have been challenged twice by two dear friends. I chose to call the 800 number and give them my debit card number.
A small act.
I think about that family who is still living with ALS. I see him in his driveway on sunny days basking in the sunshine. A great feeling.
I have also seen two other families raise money and raise awareness in our area for the same disease that rocked their worlds. Two families raising awareness and raising monies for the cure for ALS. Bringing goodness to the world.
And I think about what I felt that day when I saw them in the GAP. It was all about the family.
On Thursday, my heart was rocked with very sad news about a dear friend of mine.
If you want to really do some soul searching, drive in your car, in silence. The kids were sleeping and I was thinking. About my friend's news, the ALS challenge, my life, my kids, cancer, money, my aging body, I took the world on in my little gray Honda.
Friday, off we went to Raleigh, a trip to the awesome ortho, a fabulous baby shower on Friday night, nail appointments, breakfast and a trip to Wally World for school supplies.
Saturday was here. The big shopping day. I would have rather had a corn cob stuffed up my nose but it was here and they were excited. We were going to the big mall. You know your kids don't get out much when they are excited to see an escalator. Every person in North Carolina was at this mall. Seriously. They were there. It was awful. Way too many people for me. Too much for me. They were having a ball. I was having a panic attack.
Anyway, they each had "budgets" and a list. Walker had a smaller budget, he had hit the mother load with a hand-me-down-bag and Addie had a bigger list, bigger budget and each had their own funds they had worked for. Seriously, they asked me one hundred times how much money they had in the budget.
We arrived. Addie scored her VANS. And then it was Crazy 8's (biggest sale ever), CHAMPS for Walker's shoes, BELK (huge sale), more BELK (even more sales) and then Addie discovered she had extra money and wanted to score a pair of Nike's. And when she still had $20 left, she wanted to stop at the GAP and see if she could find two shirts to go with her new shorts.
Afterward, I was done. I tried to convince them to go to a nice sit down restaurant, but instead, they opted for Chick-Fillet. It was over. I survived.
We headed for home.
As we pulled into the driveway, there was Franklin and the "button" and even my two neighbors. The frenzy began, the pulling out of the bags from the "big" mall with the escalator.
And then came the big question? "Mom, where is the big BELK bag?" It was gone.
$482 dollars worth of back to school items gone. Vanished. The frenzy continued, only this time it was calling the mall.
I was sick. Sick. I didn't have and extra $500 dollars to replace everything, I didn't have the time even if I did have the cash, ugh. WE went into CRAZY 8 and everything was perfect for Addie. Everything. Walker was so proud to buy his "own outfit". The whole weekend was great. Great bargains, great stuff. They were going to be styling.
And I was so mad at myself. I kept saying, "let me carry the bags." Nope. They were too excited to give me the bags. They carried all the big bags while I carried a bag of two clementine scented hand soaps from The Body Works. No back to school shoes, no new outfit, nothing. They did have school supplies.
I felt like such a loser. I didn't sleep all night. And I couldn't help but think, "what kind of person felt like they hit pay dirt with size 10 shorts from Crazy *'s and pink Nike's?" It wasn't like it was a bag with a COACH purse or Costa sunglasses.
I will admit that I acted like a jerk. I was so upset. My kids had a great time. They were excited. They spent their money wisely and they were proud. Ugh, I was a mess. And I was so mad that they didn't listen to me and let me carry the bags. The mall was packed and I knew something like this would happen. I was so mad that I let them do what they wanted. It was horrible.
I mean the first day of school is a backpack, lunch bag, tennis shoe and new outfit fashion show. I just felt so bad. All the sparkle of the weekend was gone.
I had Sunday planned. A commercial shoot, trip to the store, make family dinner and then chilling. Instead, I was just consumed with where the bag went.
I could not sleep thinking about this situation. I just couldn't accept our stuff was gone or where it went.
The two ladies who greeted us Saturday night called me Sunday morning and said, "we are taking your kids to Belk. Get them ready." I said no. I wasn't giving up.
Sunday, I called Guest Services Department in mall and BELK again. Nothing. And then it hit me, I called THE GAP.
The BIG BELK bag was there!
Joy. No, my kids did not start school with new outfits. But, they made it through the day They made it just fine.
Walker cracked up when we told him that about the time the other kids start wearing old clothes, his would show up in the UPS box and his new clothes would stand out more.
Somebody with a heart, and probably kids, found the bag and turned it in. My niece, who is 11 months pregnant (well, she looks it) went and got the bag for us.
Somebody good did the right thing. They have no idea what a difference they made in two people's lives and I didn't jump off a bridge. My neighbors did the right thing too.
In the car this morning, Addie asked, "when are you going to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge?"
I asked, "what is ALS?"
Her answer stunned me. She knew, she knew all about ALS.
I asked her how she knew so much about ALS and she said, "when everyone was doing it, I didn't understand what ALS was so I googled it. My friend's aunt has it. I wish I would not have spent all my money shopping, I would give some money to ALS."
"Addie, I am not doing the challenge, I called and donated to ALS."
She responded, " I feel badly that I bought an extra pair of shoes...I should have given too."
I didn't feel like a loser anymore, I felt like a winner.
And for all the people who dumped ice cold water on their heads, or wrote checks, who lived with ALS, who loved those with ALS and for the person who turned in a BIG BELK BAG, you are winners too.
+
Shopping is not my thing.
When we first moved to this area, the area mall was my client. I would go to visit my person and then stroll the stores at lightening speed.
One particular day, right before school started, I went into the GAP to purchase "soft shirts" for "the button." There they were. A young wife, two young children and a husband in a wheel chair. They were shopping away. I didn't stare but the image stayed with me...cause I wondered. "Would I bring my husband out and about if he were in the same state?" Most likely not.
I went through the stores and when I got in parking lot, there they were...she was putting him in the van.
Again, wow.
Weeks later, I was invited to a Mary Kay party. The hostess was a woman whose husband had ALS . Never did I see a woman more worthy of a foundation and blush sale.
Months went by and again, I saw "family" at the school. The "button's" school. I couldn't believe it. The hostess from the Mary Kay party was the mom in the GAP.
We lived in a small town and I knew some people but I did not know their stories. I did not know their passion's.
Month's later, the radio station I managed was asked to help sponsor the ALS walk. I jumped at the chance. I kept thinking of the "family in THE GAP."
Later, I spent the day with the lady's sister at a band concert. And during that crisp, fall day, I learned of a love story between a Marine and his wife and how ALS changed their lives. I listened to the sister tell about how her sister went in front of congress to speak about ALS. Wow, it takes courage to be a mom and wife. It takes amazing courage to speak in front of congress. It takes courage to be ill and still participate in your kid's lives.
It wasn't about school shopping that day...it was about being with the kids and the wife, while he still could. It was about being a family, a typical family. It was about vows, sickness and health...good times and bad. Commitment.
I have been in marketing all my professional life. The ALS bucket challenge began when former pro golfer Greg Norman challenged NBC Morning Show Host, Matt Lauer to a ice bucket challenge or donate money to the favorite charity.
Who knew? All successful marketing campaigns begin with Awareness. Who knew? A bucket of cold water and millions of dollars.
I have been challenged twice by two dear friends. I chose to call the 800 number and give them my debit card number.
A small act.
I think about that family who is still living with ALS. I see him in his driveway on sunny days basking in the sunshine. A great feeling.
I have also seen two other families raise money and raise awareness in our area for the same disease that rocked their worlds. Two families raising awareness and raising monies for the cure for ALS. Bringing goodness to the world.
And I think about what I felt that day when I saw them in the GAP. It was all about the family.
On Thursday, my heart was rocked with very sad news about a dear friend of mine.
If you want to really do some soul searching, drive in your car, in silence. The kids were sleeping and I was thinking. About my friend's news, the ALS challenge, my life, my kids, cancer, money, my aging body, I took the world on in my little gray Honda.
Friday, off we went to Raleigh, a trip to the awesome ortho, a fabulous baby shower on Friday night, nail appointments, breakfast and a trip to Wally World for school supplies.
Saturday was here. The big shopping day. I would have rather had a corn cob stuffed up my nose but it was here and they were excited. We were going to the big mall. You know your kids don't get out much when they are excited to see an escalator. Every person in North Carolina was at this mall. Seriously. They were there. It was awful. Way too many people for me. Too much for me. They were having a ball. I was having a panic attack.
Anyway, they each had "budgets" and a list. Walker had a smaller budget, he had hit the mother load with a hand-me-down-bag and Addie had a bigger list, bigger budget and each had their own funds they had worked for. Seriously, they asked me one hundred times how much money they had in the budget.
We arrived. Addie scored her VANS. And then it was Crazy 8's (biggest sale ever), CHAMPS for Walker's shoes, BELK (huge sale), more BELK (even more sales) and then Addie discovered she had extra money and wanted to score a pair of Nike's. And when she still had $20 left, she wanted to stop at the GAP and see if she could find two shirts to go with her new shorts.
Afterward, I was done. I tried to convince them to go to a nice sit down restaurant, but instead, they opted for Chick-Fillet. It was over. I survived.
We headed for home.
As we pulled into the driveway, there was Franklin and the "button" and even my two neighbors. The frenzy began, the pulling out of the bags from the "big" mall with the escalator.
And then came the big question? "Mom, where is the big BELK bag?" It was gone.
$482 dollars worth of back to school items gone. Vanished. The frenzy continued, only this time it was calling the mall.
I was sick. Sick. I didn't have and extra $500 dollars to replace everything, I didn't have the time even if I did have the cash, ugh. WE went into CRAZY 8 and everything was perfect for Addie. Everything. Walker was so proud to buy his "own outfit". The whole weekend was great. Great bargains, great stuff. They were going to be styling.
And I was so mad at myself. I kept saying, "let me carry the bags." Nope. They were too excited to give me the bags. They carried all the big bags while I carried a bag of two clementine scented hand soaps from The Body Works. No back to school shoes, no new outfit, nothing. They did have school supplies.
I felt like such a loser. I didn't sleep all night. And I couldn't help but think, "what kind of person felt like they hit pay dirt with size 10 shorts from Crazy *'s and pink Nike's?" It wasn't like it was a bag with a COACH purse or Costa sunglasses.
I will admit that I acted like a jerk. I was so upset. My kids had a great time. They were excited. They spent their money wisely and they were proud. Ugh, I was a mess. And I was so mad that they didn't listen to me and let me carry the bags. The mall was packed and I knew something like this would happen. I was so mad that I let them do what they wanted. It was horrible.
I mean the first day of school is a backpack, lunch bag, tennis shoe and new outfit fashion show. I just felt so bad. All the sparkle of the weekend was gone.
I had Sunday planned. A commercial shoot, trip to the store, make family dinner and then chilling. Instead, I was just consumed with where the bag went.
I could not sleep thinking about this situation. I just couldn't accept our stuff was gone or where it went.
The two ladies who greeted us Saturday night called me Sunday morning and said, "we are taking your kids to Belk. Get them ready." I said no. I wasn't giving up.
Sunday, I called Guest Services Department in mall and BELK again. Nothing. And then it hit me, I called THE GAP.
The BIG BELK bag was there!
Joy. No, my kids did not start school with new outfits. But, they made it through the day They made it just fine.
Walker cracked up when we told him that about the time the other kids start wearing old clothes, his would show up in the UPS box and his new clothes would stand out more.
Somebody with a heart, and probably kids, found the bag and turned it in. My niece, who is 11 months pregnant (well, she looks it) went and got the bag for us.
Somebody good did the right thing. They have no idea what a difference they made in two people's lives and I didn't jump off a bridge. My neighbors did the right thing too.
In the car this morning, Addie asked, "when are you going to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge?"
I asked, "what is ALS?"
Her answer stunned me. She knew, she knew all about ALS.
I asked her how she knew so much about ALS and she said, "when everyone was doing it, I didn't understand what ALS was so I googled it. My friend's aunt has it. I wish I would not have spent all my money shopping, I would give some money to ALS."
"Addie, I am not doing the challenge, I called and donated to ALS."
She responded, " I feel badly that I bought an extra pair of shoes...I should have given too."
I didn't feel like a loser anymore, I felt like a winner.
And for all the people who dumped ice cold water on their heads, or wrote checks, who lived with ALS, who loved those with ALS and for the person who turned in a BIG BELK BAG, you are winners too.
+
Sunday, August 3, 2014
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Proverbs and Baseball
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Proverbs and Baseball: Years ago, I saw this picture in a gift shop. I bought it. I keep it in my kitchen where I spend most o f my time. It speaks to me. ...
Proverbs and Baseball
Years ago, I saw this picture in a gift shop. I bought it. I keep it in my kitchen where I spend most of my time. It speaks to me.
Baseball is a big deal in our house.
Baseball is how I met most of my friends when we moved here.
Baseball is how the "button" got into wrestling.
I love to watch the T-Ballers in their uniforms, pants dragging on the ground, belts pulled to the last hole with moms and dads with video cameras. I love to see the fellas shutting their eyes at bat on the ones who close their eyes when a ball comes to them and then the surprise look when the realize they actually caught the ball.
I love seeing the boys grow and understanding the game. I love the grandma's with the spirit shirts that say "so and so's Nana" on the back. I love the announcers who mispronounce names and the boys yelling up to the announcers box. I love when the expressions on their faces when they know the did well.
I love watching those darling little T-ballers grow into men.
Three years ago, Walker was asked to do a project on a "famous" North Carolinian. While others went for the creator of Pepsi or Micheal Jordan...Walker chose Josh Hamilton. I had no idea who he was.
But, I quickly fell in love with Josh and his family. He is the famous major league baseball player from NC. And he is near and dear to my heart.
Not for his athletic abilities but for his strength, his honesty and his faith.
Josh came from a great home, loving and devoted parents and a grandma with guts. He was a star athlete who was given a handsome signing bonus at a young age to join major league baseball. All was good.
Until that fateful day in a tattoo parlor, bored and confused...all hell broke lose. Drugs, drinking, denial and finally, kicked out of major league baseball. Josh had it all and lost it.
Until his Grandma said "stay with me". Josh got high in her house and then stopped. He did it the old fashioned way. After several rehab attempts, he quit.
He got strong and he came back. He made it back into baseball. And, he is thriving.
I personally recommend his book, Josh Hamilton, Beyond Belief. Quick read. Will touch your heart and change your life.
Josh is our sign of HOPE.
Walker's bucket list includes...Complete Hunter's Safety Course (done), see Josh Hamilton play and go to a Pittsburgh Steeler's game.
In April, my dear baseball loving friend and I decided that he needed to cross off the Josh Hamilton line in Camden yards (an awesome ballpark).
Tuesday, I told the kids to get up (6am) and get in the car. We were going on a road trip.
They guessed and guessed and guessed.
Finally, after we had passed about 500 Baltimore Oriole Billboards, he asked timidly (as if not to be disappointed) "are we going to an Orioles game?"
I just smiled.
He said, "against Pittsburgh?"
I didn't answer. I forgot about smart phones. I looked over and he speaks into his phone "who do they Baltimore Orioles play tonight?"
I will never forget the look on his face when he got the answer.
He was like Charlie opening that candy bar and seeing the golden ticket.
He remained calm and quiet most of the day, taking in the big city, the stadium. All of it. Our seats were in the outfield, but Josh was injured and didn't field. He did hit.
Four for five and a home run. How awesome.
The next day, on the return trip home, (and I don't suggest going up and back in 24 hours if you are older than 50), I asked..."so was the home run the greatest part of the night?"
His reply? "No, just seeing him, just being there, just knowing he is okay."
Kicked my heart. I am not sure if he was talking about Josh or his brother or if he understood how Josh' s parents must have felt so many times. It maybe all three.
Walker said it was the greatest night of his life. Heart warmer.
Friday I get the call. "Mom, can I come home?"
I had prayed for six weeks he would be safe. That is all I wanted. Safety. And if God was listening, I would take enlightenment, maturity and wisdom. And the teaching of Proverbs. But seriously, safety was my number one prayer.
After six weeks of being homeless and working and carrying luggage wherever and bathing wherever, the call came.
Hmmmm. What do answer? I did not know.
There have been many questions that have been asked...many answers given.
Being and staying straight is the only ticket into my home. Permission granted. Prayers.
This past weekend, my dear friend, a former teacher of Josh Hamilton's, (I almost wrote an old teacher of Josh Hamilton's) also went to see him play with her family.
He signed two baseballs and gave one to each of her son's. This morning, I was looking again at the picture and I noticed that he had put a scripture on each of the balls. I read the scriptures this morning. I felt peace. I thought that maybe Josh's mom had the same saying I do in her kitchen. He came back.
I sit here this morning in this still, quiet house. It is gray inside. Thunder storming like mad outside. You can only hear the rain falling and falling and falling.
All the beds are occupied. My son is safe. And, Walker got it out. He told his brother how he felt. (that was like a home run)
And I think he has some smelly growth tucked into that backpack, along with humility and maturity in his wet suitcase.
Today starts a new chapter. A new batter to the plate. A new inning.
No home runs needed.
"No, just seeing him, just knowing he is okay."
Thanks Josh Hamilton for instilling HOPE and FAITH into our home.
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