the story of kids,chaos, mothering challenges and sometimes chocolate
Thursday, July 17, 2014
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: The Pumpkin Patch
it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: The Pumpkin Patch: Years ago, we started a "burn pile" in the backyard. Over the years got bigger and bigger and so did the bonfires when the pile g...
The Pumpkin Patch
Years ago, we started a "burn pile" in the backyard. Over the years got bigger and bigger and so did the bonfires when the pile got too big. I love the burn pile. Others do not. It is "an eyesore and a snake pit". Not my words but the words of others. I do not care.
The best part of the burn pile is the "chucking." Have a broken limb, chuck it in the burn pile. Have some dead flowers, no troubles, chuck them in the burn pile. Halloween is over and you need a place for your pumpkins, chuck them in the burn pile.
This spring, we burned the burn pile, before snake pit season. We needed to get rid of the burn pile. The ashes were raked and the burn pile was done for the year 2013-2014.
And then, I noticed something...in the ashes and the fire residue...something green. And whatever that green thing was, it was growing, like a weed.
If God puts a seed somewhere, I will not, I cannot remove it. It is a personal code of ethics for me. I cannot remove the seed.
And after a few weeks...I had a pumpkin patch that Linus would have been proud. Apparently, I had chucked my pumpkins in the perfect place. There, in the ashes and the soot was an amazing pumpkin patch...with amazing pumpkins and amazing blooms. An amazing pumpkin patch. None of it planned. Not even good soil. Ashes and sand.
There are stories as old as time about people who become great people and they basically start in the left over ashes. No fertilizer. Lousy soil. Not enough water. But, they blossom. Just like my pumpkin patch. And there are stories about the avid gardener who cannot get something specific to grow.
The "button" pulled up roots in New York and went to Florida to reconnect with his biological family. He didn't tell us he was going. We gave him the info so he could make the decision. Natural curiosity is a good thing. It was his decision, his life and his story.
Naturally, we would have appreciated a head's up...instead of the photo on social media. But, we knew it wouldn't last. No way.
It didn't. It did last three days longer than we thought but it didn't last.
No lifetime made for TV movie for the "button" and his biological kin. It was more like a horror movie.
An idea that looked good on paper and sounded good on the phone...almost like Match.com for relatives.
I have never known anyone who had a successful "reconnection." It was mentioned to him that this would more than likely be the case but he wanted to see for himself. The are some rather personal circumstances that prompted this reunion. Too private to mention. The "button's " intentions and heart were right to make the connection. But they are all strangers.
People always say that blood is thicker than water. True. But that is blood is the blood that you opened Santa presents with on Christmas morning, picked cereals together at the grocery store, wore one hand me down clothes and threatened to kill one another and then later hugged one another. That is blood.
And despite blood, it does matter how you are raised and by whom. Your mom is not the one who pushes you out. Your mom is the one who pushes you in life. Your dad is the not the sperm donor. Your dad is the one who teaches you how not to become a sperm donor.
After a quick reunion, reality set in...these adults had nothing in common. Just that blood. And it wasn't enough. He left his blood. On foot.
When you take a hard look at your life and how you life could have turned out, something changes you.
And then, an amazing thing happened. Despite the lousy soil in the beginning, the "button" has started to blossom.
Gone was the "grown ass man" arrogance. Instead, a softer, more humble person started to blossom. With a sense of maturity. Oh, and have I mentioned appreciation. Funny what being broke, homeless, and hungry will do for a person.
And for the first time, he said it best, "I made this situation...I have to own the biggest mistake in my life." And we let him. I only had one action of misgiving, but I corrected it and he has made it and cleaned up all by himself.
He has a pretty good job, one that he is very proud of and suits him perfectly. He is learning and growing. He has made peace with some parts of his life and in search of new quests. He is clean.
He is beginning to understand his story, his "real" family, his mistakes, his future.
In every one's garden, there are weeds. Regardless.
But even lovely flowers grow in weeds.
I don't know if I want to write about him anymore. I am not sure why, I just think I do not want too.
We shall see. His story is not yet written but it does appear that he FINALLY found a pen that works.
In the meantime, I am going to weed, pick flowers and plant some more pumpkin seeds.
The best part of the burn pile is the "chucking." Have a broken limb, chuck it in the burn pile. Have some dead flowers, no troubles, chuck them in the burn pile. Halloween is over and you need a place for your pumpkins, chuck them in the burn pile.
This spring, we burned the burn pile, before snake pit season. We needed to get rid of the burn pile. The ashes were raked and the burn pile was done for the year 2013-2014.
And then, I noticed something...in the ashes and the fire residue...something green. And whatever that green thing was, it was growing, like a weed.
If God puts a seed somewhere, I will not, I cannot remove it. It is a personal code of ethics for me. I cannot remove the seed.
And after a few weeks...I had a pumpkin patch that Linus would have been proud. Apparently, I had chucked my pumpkins in the perfect place. There, in the ashes and the soot was an amazing pumpkin patch...with amazing pumpkins and amazing blooms. An amazing pumpkin patch. None of it planned. Not even good soil. Ashes and sand.
There are stories as old as time about people who become great people and they basically start in the left over ashes. No fertilizer. Lousy soil. Not enough water. But, they blossom. Just like my pumpkin patch. And there are stories about the avid gardener who cannot get something specific to grow.
The "button" pulled up roots in New York and went to Florida to reconnect with his biological family. He didn't tell us he was going. We gave him the info so he could make the decision. Natural curiosity is a good thing. It was his decision, his life and his story.
Naturally, we would have appreciated a head's up...instead of the photo on social media. But, we knew it wouldn't last. No way.
It didn't. It did last three days longer than we thought but it didn't last.
No lifetime made for TV movie for the "button" and his biological kin. It was more like a horror movie.
An idea that looked good on paper and sounded good on the phone...almost like Match.com for relatives.
I have never known anyone who had a successful "reconnection." It was mentioned to him that this would more than likely be the case but he wanted to see for himself. The are some rather personal circumstances that prompted this reunion. Too private to mention. The "button's " intentions and heart were right to make the connection. But they are all strangers.
People always say that blood is thicker than water. True. But that is blood is the blood that you opened Santa presents with on Christmas morning, picked cereals together at the grocery store, wore one hand me down clothes and threatened to kill one another and then later hugged one another. That is blood.
And despite blood, it does matter how you are raised and by whom. Your mom is not the one who pushes you out. Your mom is the one who pushes you in life. Your dad is the not the sperm donor. Your dad is the one who teaches you how not to become a sperm donor.
After a quick reunion, reality set in...these adults had nothing in common. Just that blood. And it wasn't enough. He left his blood. On foot.
When you take a hard look at your life and how you life could have turned out, something changes you.
And then, an amazing thing happened. Despite the lousy soil in the beginning, the "button" has started to blossom.
Gone was the "grown ass man" arrogance. Instead, a softer, more humble person started to blossom. With a sense of maturity. Oh, and have I mentioned appreciation. Funny what being broke, homeless, and hungry will do for a person.
And for the first time, he said it best, "I made this situation...I have to own the biggest mistake in my life." And we let him. I only had one action of misgiving, but I corrected it and he has made it and cleaned up all by himself.
He has a pretty good job, one that he is very proud of and suits him perfectly. He is learning and growing. He has made peace with some parts of his life and in search of new quests. He is clean.
He is beginning to understand his story, his "real" family, his mistakes, his future.
In every one's garden, there are weeds. Regardless.
But even lovely flowers grow in weeds.
I don't know if I want to write about him anymore. I am not sure why, I just think I do not want too.
We shall see. His story is not yet written but it does appear that he FINALLY found a pen that works.
In the meantime, I am going to weed, pick flowers and plant some more pumpkin seeds.
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