It has been 32 years since I turned 21 and there is still a debate between me and my mom over the birthday events.
My 21st birthday was on a Friday, April Fools day and the last day of classes until after the spring break. And it was a lovely spring day in Morgantown, West Virginia.
Sounds like all of the ingredients for a fabulous 21st birthday.
It was.
Watermelon shooters at the Dungeon. Long Island Iced Teas as well. And all was well.
Until I went home to my apartment.
When I got to my street, in my birthday stupor, I saw it. My mom's car.
OMG! My mom doesn't drink and would not appreciate the April Foolery.
We opened the door and there THEY were. My mom and my grandparents. The only person missing was Mother Theresa. It couldn't have been any worse. And my mom was pissed.
The debate will always be the time she told me she was going to pick me up for break. I can tell you, I would have found a way to get out of the Friday/birthday pick up.
Apparently, my mom says I was supposed to be there at six. I think it was nine when we showed up.
The good news is, I passed out on the hour and half ride home. There is a God.
When I got home, Crazy Russell came out to the car, carried me inside the house over his shoulder and threw me in the shower. I remember this vividly.
After a shower, I went downstairs to blow out candles. In the spirit of April Fools, my name was spelled backwards on the cake. I know because I announced this about 52 times before I blew out my candles.
It was horrible. They put me to bed.
The next morning, still furious, my mom woke me up at five am. And I wasn't allowed to have anything to drink.
She woke me up to do my laundry before I had to drive to State College for a formal with Prom Date.
Important to know, we had a wringer washing machine. So, I stood there, washing and swishing, and watching that water roll. OMG, so hung over. The hangover that is never going away until you got to bed and get up the next day.
I showered and left to go to State College. My mom sent me with the exact amount of gas money. No fluff. No large diet Coke. No cheeseburger.
Good Bless Prom Date. He let me take a nap before the formal. I almost threw up when he handed me a beer at the formal.
After I got home the next day, Crazy Russell took me to the White Valley Club and made me belly up to the bar. It was a two day hangover. He ordered for me. A shot of whiskey. I have never had whiskey before then or after. He made me do the shot. He was furious and gave me a very brief lecture. It went something like this, "do anything like that again, and I will rip your tongue out and bury it in dog crap."
I still do not think my mom EVER told me that she was coming to get me that afternoon.
The "button" turned 21 a week ago.
He lived to tell about it. I was hoping that he would have gone to the library that day and researched world peace but that was not the route he took. Beers before noon and then dinner.
And he himself said, "he blew his own milestone."
When my grandmother was living and we would go to a wedding, and she was certain the bride shouldn't have been wearing white, she would always say, "the only thing new here today is the cake."
The only thing new last week was the cake. And I just couldn't be joyous.
I would love the think to think that turning 21 would not be about the booze and the freedom to drink but it was when i was 21 and I am sure that it will not change.
And now my son is a "grown ass man". A term that is a result of a number and sadly not what has been accomplished or contributed.
Typically, birthdays are a big deal in our house. I just couldn't do it. His cards are still on the table. It is his first birthday in three years that he didn't wear orange.And we didn't celebrate Just couldn't feel it. We did speak and we are speaking. A step. That is something to celebrate.
My 21st birthday payback.
Alcohol can have a numbing effect on you, even if you are not drinking it.
And so it goes.
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