Franklin Strong and Jenna the booger eater

It has been few days since the stabbings  took place at Franklin Regional High School.  Even as I go through my day to day activities, the events of the past week just sit up there, in my mind, like a permanent thought cloud.

"How did this happen at my school?"  I used to  tell people, in a very boastful way, "we didn't even have locks on our lockers."

And now, along with a few other school across the USA, FRHS becomes a school with a case study and and an ABC news truck at the bottom of the hill.

Last year, after the Boston bombing, I was astounded at the city of Boston.  They never skipped a beat.  Hours after the bombing, "they" were on it.  There was no way a bombing and two people were taking down that city.  They were "Boston Strong."  They even pledged to win the World Series on opening day and damn if that didn't happen.

I was so proud of them and felt that their perseverance was contagious.

And then, last week.

Say what you want about social media.  In less than six hours, there were banners being made, monies being collected and a suburb was coming together with a force that the Iron Curtain couldn't have stopped.

Prayer chains began, vigils and a feeling of strength and power was surging through the hearts and cores of hundreds of thousands of people.   Amazing.  They were taking their suburb back. They are still taking their suburb back.

And then, there were the naysayers.  I almost wrecked my car on Thursday when I was traveling through South Carolina and on a talk radio show, the host said that there was bullying at FRHS because the kids lived in mansions and lived the lives of privileged kids.

And I am pretty sure he has never been to Murrysville, PA.  Certainly not a vacation destination. 

I was so mad and hurt.  If I could have found that man, if I could have gotten on his talk show, I am certain the delay button would have been useful for them. 

I thought about it.  Mansions?  I went to bed every night of my 18 years looking at a star that I could see from my bedroom window to Export.  It was the star on top of the coal hill.  That is what we called it, coal hill.  Kids would climb that to make out, drink beer, whatever.  I never made the trip up.  I admired the star from afar. We didn't live in a mansion.  I know the neighborhood that the accuser lives in, not a mansion. 

And does it matter? 

There was even discussion in USA TODAY about Nathan's selfie from the hospital room.  Are you kidding me?  A young man is smart enough to pull a fire alarm to save lives and he post a selfie that showed, "hey, I am ok, we are going to be ok" and he is criticized?  Seriously? 

But I have to be honest, the negative Nellies filled me with power.  And empowerment.  I am glad they were negative.  Don't tell us, or anyone from Western Pennsylvania that we cannot. 

There are problems at every school.  Every year.  FRHS is no different.  Never has been.  There will always be bullying, there will always be bullies.There will always be troubled kids and kids that don't fit in.  We need to be honest about the problems, and face them.  Not burying them.  And if you know there is a problem, and you do nothing, you are part of the problem.  Be part of the solution.

Lets talk about this...let's talk about a community and alumni from all over the world coming together and saying, "FRHS is good."

Lets talk about the good things.  The Vice Principal, the spirit, the perseverance and the will to face diversity and fix it.

Last week, the day before the incident, my fifth grade daughter came to me about a girl in her class, Jenna.  As Addie described her; "she is disgusting.  She eats her boogers."

And because she eats boogers, nobody wants to be her friend.  She eats alone and she plays by herself at recess.  Now, Addie tells me that she feels bad for her but she eats her boogers.  Yes, she mentioned this three times.

So, I said, "Well does she eat the boogers for lunch?  I mean, have you seen her, sitting there eating the boogers in the cafeteria? "

"No."

"Okay, so let's be honest, you have picked your nose before.  I have seen you.  I have picked my nose before, you have seen me.  I am sure that you have eaten a booger once in your life.  So, she is disgusting and you are not?"

"Mom, are you telling me to be her friend??

"Yes, I want you to try it for one day.  Lead the way."

Addie went to school the next day and talked three other kids into sitting with Jenna the alleged booger eater.  Addie walked up to her and said, "Jenna, can we sit with you?"

Jenna was so excited she just about spilled her Capri Sun. They sat and they chatted. 

And to Jenna's credit she asked, "why did you pick (no pun intended) today to sit with me?"

Addie said, "No reason."

And then they asked Jenna why she walked so slowly to recess everyday.

"Because I knew when I got to recess that I didn't have anyone to play with anyway so why walk fast."

Jenna now has six new friends.  And some Kleenex.

The events of last week  are not as easy to change and turn around as Jenna the booger eater.  It will take time.  It will take healing.  It will take courage.  And it all begins with one step.  One step into that High School. 

Tomorrow, those students go back into the school.  We will all walk those first steps with them.  I know, I know in my heart, there are are hundreds of thousands of people taking those first steps with them.  Alumni, former teachers, citizens of the Franklin Regional School District, all of us together. 

It is just one step, befriending one booger eater, smiling at one person who seems scared, opening the door for the one person who is afraid to walk in, together.  We are in this together. 

We will never know the real reason for last Wednesday.  But moving forward, we will all walk and work together for the solution.  And solutions. And we will take a World Series.

One step at a time.  We are today, tomorrow and forever, Franklin strong.