Why is it when you get "one" of these calls, your phone needs charged and you are somewhere where you feel like everyone can hear you speaking? That was me.
The "button" is doing research.
What is he researching? I am not 100% sure but I am guessing independence.
He has a job, an apartment and a friend. He sounded happy. He was sick as a dog, but happy.
It has been one week since I spoke to him and I am still thinking and processing the call.
He most likely hung up and hasn't thought about it since.
A friend of my once sent me an email joke about a couple meets at a bar for drinks before date night. She is obsessed, "he is distant, he didn't notice I got my hair cut, he keeps looking off in the distance, he isn't smiling, what is wrong, does he want to break up, why is he so down, should I ask him what is wrong?"
He is thinking, "WVU lost the big game."
I think this is the same situation.
He is doing research. He mentioned that he is doing this "all on his own" and "he is staying out of trouble" and "he is paying his bills."
And there you have it. He is researching what happens when you detach from your family and do it on your own.
I don't know what kind of grade he will get on his paper, it isn't written yet.
I too have been doing my own research paper.
Here is the Reader's Digest version.
I am almost 53 and I have learned more in the last four years than I have ever learned. I didn't pay tuition or get new bedding, I just lived as a mom. Here is what I have learned in no particular order.1. Cancer, any kind, sucks.
2. Rehab will never work if the person does not understand why they are going.
3. HOPE is a powerful feeling and HOPEFUL is a great way to feel.
4. Nothing will ever prepare you to see your kid in orange.
5. People can change. People do change. People will change you.
6. Nobody will ever know what you are thinking or how you feel until they have walked in your shoes, not for a day, but for a mile.
7. The older you get, the smarter your parents get, even if they aren't here anymore.
8. Some days, sitting in a chair, feeling the breeze and the sun on your face is all you need to change your attitude.
9. Taking just one step forward can you lead you to great things.
10. Nobody will ever come to your pity party, regardless of the appetizers being served.
11. It is okay to have your dreams broken, your heart splintered and your expectations shattered. There are so many more of each, you just have to go find them. Who knows, you may find something better in the process.
12. You only guide your children. The minute that cord is cut, it is their life. You just guide them.
13. Chocolate does make things better.
After he called, Addie called him. Cracked me up. And then Walker followed. Both were very buttoned up (no pun intended) about the conversations.
I didn't pry. It is not my relationship. It is theirs.
I have a very strong gut feeling about how this is going to turn out but I will not reveal now.
When I was in college, I remember a project that I worked on for weeks. Over and Over, corrections, changes, thoughts and then I turned it in. I got a B. I couldn't understand why it was just a B. I so disappointed. I had worked so hard on it. Just a B?
Later, I went out jiffing(a term at WVU for happy hour) and forgot that I had a paper due the next day in my Shakespeare class on the Taming of the Shrew. I got up the next morning, still in a bit of a fog, and whipped out a paper. One time. The paper was on time. Wheeeww.
When the professor passed out the graded papers, I didn't know if I wanted to look. No preparation, no thought process, no anything. I got an A. What the hell?
And no, the moral wasn't "go out and party and get an A", it was sometimes you over think things. Just like the babe at the bar. He was only worked up about the big game.
Maybe that is me and the "button". Maybe I just should have said, "go". "Go figure it on your own." Maybe I spent too much time on fluff and not substance on that paper, maybe that is why I got a B.
Life is so complicated it is simple, just live it. Just go do it and figure it out, make your way.
Again, not beating myself up, just wondering.
So he called. He is employed. He is not in an institution of higher learning. He is in the school of hard knocks. His paper isn't written.
I just hope I live long enough to check his sources and then put a seasonal sticker on it.
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