it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Dreams

it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Dreams: Today is MLK day.  The title "Dreams" is a coincidence today, or maybe not. Saturday night, I found myself alone.  It was great ...

Dreams

Today is MLK day.  The title "Dreams" is a coincidence today, or maybe not.

Saturday night, I found myself alone.  It was great for 45 minutes.  I was invited to a friend's house and later, Franklin joined me.

We were chatting and having a great time until THE topic came up, the legalization of marijuana.  Now, I am sure that everyone who knows me, can guess my stand on this topic.

I made the statement that I would not live in a state where the drug was legalized.

To which my husband responded, "there is nothing you can do about, it is all about the revenue, and you just need to get over it and accept because it is coming."

I went Bizek.  Bizerk.  We did speak about it at length and I have permitted him to sleep inside again.  (kidding)


I know that if I sat in traffic on a bridge in New Jersey for four hours, on a Friday, and I got to the end of the bridge and the only thing there were two cones that I would get out of my car, find the person who put the cones there and ask questions and then choke him.  Not even in Jersey did that happen.

Have we become a country of jaded, nonbelievers with no curiosity or spirit?

When a wife and mom is missing, I am the first one to look at the spouse and say, "something is sketchy here".  We don't believe.

Have we, as a society, been burned so many times that we don't think we can make a difference?

It does not matter how you personally feel about the legalization of marijuana(but I can promise you, there is an abundance of information being gathered somewhere for a new blog entry) but it does matter that in this country there is freedom of speech and you have the right to have your voice heard.

If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything.

Yesterday, in a community clubhouse, a community gathered for an old fashioned letter writing campaign.  Very simple. Write a letter to members of the community to get answers for a young man's untimely death and answers to the mistakes made involving his death.

Did I write a letter?  Yes.  Do I think it may make a difference?  Yes.  Do I think the outcome will be changed, I don't know?  But I feel better that I tried.

Wonder what Martin Luther King's mom said, "don't bother, you won't make a difference."

Or Rosa's mom, "Honey, I don't think that is a good idea to make a scene in the bus."

Or how about Neil Armstrong's mom, "No Neil, I would prefer you stay at home."

How about those women who wanted the right to vote...what if they didn't say "screw it", We are not worrying about dinner tonight and  we are going to get the right to vote.

Instead, it seems like we drive by cones and and say or question nothing.

Or we hear the news media and we just shake our heads and do nothing put hit a "like" button on a facebook status.

We need heroes and folks who stand up and speak.

We need to raise kids who have the courage to do the right thing instead of being afraid to be a narc or a buzz wreck.

We need leaders.  We need people who question the cones or throw them off the bridge.  We need to exercise freedom of speech and not be afraid.

WE need to quit being bullied by big business with wallets and politicians who haven't walked a day in our shoes or spent an hour in a classroom in the last 20 years.

My vote does count. My letter will count.  I know that I will not have marijuana legalized in state of North Carolina.

Many people are picking only one word to redefine their year, not a resolution but a word.  I thought mine was going to be responsibility.  Instead, I am changing to  inspire.

I don't think of today as one man's day.  From this day forward, I am going to think of it how anybody has a voice if they truly have the dream to make a difference and inspire.

it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Supersized

it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Supersized: Usually, I do not sit down and write posts with such vigor.  I could not wait to write this post. I was slammed at work today, slammed. ...

Supersized

Usually, I do not sit down and write posts with such vigor.  I could not wait to write this post.

I was slammed at work today, slammed.

And I was excited.  It was a lovely day in coastal Carolina.  And, I was going to Beaufort today.  I love Beaufort.  Love it.  And the clear skies and the breeze, awesome day.

I spent some time in "America's Number One Small City" and was moving to the next town.  I realized that I was parched and didn't have any waters in the car.

Let me just say, I hate FAST FOOD, except for a number one at Chick Fillet.

Anyway, I pulled into a H----- that I never even realized was there.

I pulled up knowing that  the  only thing I  wanted was a diet coke. 

The voice comes out of the box and I was stunned.  The typical southern greeting was gone.  Instead was a raspy, black lung sounding woman, "Welcome to H-----, may I take your order?"

Man, it is true, it is hard to find good help.

I swing around and get to the drive thru window and there she is, in all of her frosted lipstick glory, Crystal Meth Bev!!!!!!!

And all I hear is the 2 packs of Lucky Strike, non filter, squeal, "Oh my God, it is TV girl, can you believe it, put the phone down."

Okay, I cracked up.  She is screaming inside to her co-workers, "You know that girl that I told you I knew who works in TV, this is her."

I was laughing so hard.  She hands me my diet coke, "girl there is nobody behind you, OMG it is Wednesday, don't tell me you are going to summer camp?"

"No, no I am not, what about you and your son?"

"Don't know, haven't heard from him."  I guess it is going around.

"What are you doing working here?"

"I am getting married and I needed more money and I got another job and so I swing burgers and I cannot believe you are sitting here in front of me.  I have wondered about you 12 million times.  I told you I would see you and yell TV girl."

Another car came up to the window.  We said our goodbyes. 

She was clean, teeth, her hair was styled and she is in LOVE with frosted lipstick, pink no less.

I was so excited about seeing her.  I had to laugh that she thought I was going to summer camp.

As the day went on though, it made me sad.  I missed her.  I missed hoping for the best for all of us.  I missed the relationship that I had then, with my son,  even with the glass.  I missed the future.   I missed knowing where the button and what he was doing.  I  missed what I had known for so long.  Now, I know and have nothing.  Not even summer camp.

Then, I snapped out of it. 

Crystal Meth Bev was HOPE, all 80 pounds of her.  She detached from her son with love an an engagement ring, a sponsor and a job.  She turned her life around.  I am guessing she is about 38.  She looks 68.  Regardless, she did it. 

When I called Franklin and told him, we were laughing.  He asked, "did she ask about the button?"

"Nope."

I thought about her all day.  All day. 

I thought about the impressions that people make on others.  How people meet just when they need to and why God puts people together in life.

And I thought about the impression that the 80 pound, drunk, Honey Boo Boo  extra had made on my life and how she Supersized me with Hope and a Diet coke.