Karen Carpenter

My first huge obsession in life is  Julie Andrews, The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins.

My second is Karen Carpenter.

I loved Julie Andrews when I was six.

My love affair with Karen Carpenter began in the fourth grade.  I loved her and her brother, the music, the album covers  all of it.

Her death is for another blog.

It is interesting to me how friends become friends.  What is the commonality?  Kids?  Kids and their interests?  What is it?

Years ago, when I lived in Pennsylvania, my husband hunted. He met a man who also sold real estate and hunted.

The other man had a wife, "Joy."

We met.  She has been one of my dearest friends since that day.

Commonality?  Craft fairs, flowers, deer, antiques, chocolate pasta, authentic Mexican food, travel, Christmas and Santa's, Chocolate covered anything, rotary and friendship.

One time, on an outing, I confessed that I was still obsessed with Karen Carpenter and told them that without a doubt, the best Christmas album EVER was the Carpenter album.  (You can tell how old I am when I use the word album). They too liked her and they wanted a copy.

Anyway, I got the radio station to make a cd for them and that cd has also become a grand commonality in our relationship.

When I hear Karen singing, "Merry Christmas Darling, Happy new Year too...." I immediately think of Joy and her hunting husband.  This sound means that the Christmas season has officially begun.

As soon as I hear it, or they hear it, we call one another.  It is Christmas.

I have written about "Joy" before.  She is one of my friends who has the "C" word and has been sick.

Yesterday morning, we had a phone date.

I sat out on the porch with the gray mist spraying, it was weather to slash your wrists by, just ugly out but I was excited for our conversation.

They say that sometimes booze is the truth serum.  I think it is talking to a dear friend.

I spewed.  I guess I had much to say.  Apparently, she did too.

Truth serum came.  Another surgery.  Another chapter in the "button" drama.

And she said these words "I am so tired of being sick defining me, controlling me and living my life for me.  I have had so many blessings in the last couple of years because of being sick, but I am ready for somebody else to receive these blessings."

Her life has been controlled by her illness, mine has been controlled by my son's addiction.  We both spoke about how they are different situations,but, they are so similarl.  We cannot control, cure or cause cancer or drug addiction but it does take over our lives.  And both can define you.

And we talked about what we have learned.  We both feel like we have been blessed and we have learned so much about ourselves, cancer, illness, people, patience and will. 
We have also learned to appreciate things more than we did before.  And we know that we were chosen.

The most important thing we have learned is attitude.  We spoke about a person I know who has the "c" word that I had to say "pity party over, get up, get moving and start living."  "Joy" told me about a friend that is also sick that she doesn't know if she can speak to anymore because she has such a sad attitude.  We talked about how she never took one day to feel sorry for herself.  Yes, she was scared and mad and sad and did I mention scared but she was too busy trying to live with an illness to lose one day, a day she may not get back.

And we talked about this blog, how somedays I wonder if I did the correct thing starting it and taking our situation out in the open.  

But we talked about how we just had "an attitude" about both situations.  Attitude is everything and dispite the bleakness, we were going to have a great life.

We talked about how "it is what it is " and life is for the living.  Get moving or get dying.  And we shed a few tears.

I did tell her that "all of this", my son, my sick friends with cancer and friends burying parents has been like college, I have learned so much.  We also decided that if was time for both of us to graduate, get our "life" diplomas and move on.

And then, too lighten the mood, she told me how a guy (24) came to the house to fix her computer.  She said she needed to get it working so she could listen to Karen Carpenter.  The guy was like "who?".

He got it fixed and while he was doing other fixer-uppers, she played Karen Carpenter.
He told her he was going to to tell this parents. 

The conversation ended with "love you, love you too" and on new year's " we were going to toast one another and 2014, we  will be machines."

We hung up.  A great start to a very dismal day.

Walker talked me into a double chocolate donut for Dunkin because he had been sick. 
Such a sucker I am and the car I went.

I turned on the car and the radio automatically came on....and yes...you guessed it,
Karen was singing..."if I had one wish this Christmas eve, I wish I were with you."

Merry Christmas "Joy."  Love you.