Car Cry

Two days ago, when I was taking Walker to school, a radio morning show was asking the co hostesses on the show "what makes you cry?"

It was a "guy" thing versus a "girl" thing.  The guys were laughing because one lady said that she had a meltdown because when she took her sheets out of the dryer, they were all tangled and had tangled a sweater.  The guys laughed.

My 11 year old son was hysterical. 

There were several incidents where girls cried.  For what seemed like no reason.

Today was a lovely,brisk, sunny, fall day.  I had every minute scheduled.  And all of the minutes were to be productive.  I was on a mission.

About noon, I get a phone call.  I see the caller ID and I want to scream.  The "school".  Never the call you want.  I need to come and get my daughter.  She hurt her  back. 

Ok, regroup.  No big deal.  She could walk.  No wheel chairs in the future.  It was all good. 

Maybe it was the pretty day.  Maybe it was that a new baby was going home this afternoon.  Maybe it was I was thinking about my friends who have cancer.  Philip Phillips singing "HOME" was blaring in the background.  I have had horrible angst in my gut over my oldest son and I was not attending my youngest son's  big baseball weekend in Myrtle Beach.  I was thinking about my friends who lost their son in June, nephews, sadness and just life.

And then it happened.   I started to bawl.  And bawl and bawl.  I was crying so hard in my car that I thought my internal organs were going to come up threw my throat.  And I wasn't breathing so it was the huge sighs along with the blubbering.  Attractive, I am sure.

As I coasted to the red light, I glanced over to the car beside me and the man in car was staring at me, my smeared mascara, my crazy hair and my grief. 

I started to laugh.  I am not sure why.  I just needed to let "it" out. I don't know what "it" was I just needed to let it out.

I just laughed.   Laughed.  I felt better. 



I got to the school.  I went  in to the office to pick up Addie.  I had to wait a little.   There was a mom standing there beside me waiting for her child as well.  And her comes the girl.  She was a mess.  Crying her little heart out.  The mom leaned down and asked, "Honey, whatever is the matter?"

Her response, "no clue."

I felt for her.  The advantage of growing up, you can come undone in your own car and nobody needs to know.