The girl behind the cubicle

I did it.  I did it big this time, even for me.

I passed judgement like I have never done before in my life.  Beats the Jehovah Witnesses stealing my kids for sex slaves in Nicaragua. 

In my new job, I have a satellite office.  It is awesome.  One of the reasons that I sooooo love my job.  It is also the same reason that if you say, "Oh, hey I know blah blah, she works with you", they might just give you a blank stare. 

But despite the satellite offices, there are a few people that I have direct contact with on a daily basis.  And one, for the past few months, I cannot tolerate.

She does not speak.  She shows no emotion.  If I ever played poker, I would NEVER play with her.  She shows no emotion.  She shows no personality and she acts scared of her shadow.  It drives me nuts.  But, having said that, she is a fabulous employee.

Friday, she came to my desk.  And while she was standing there, she noticed the picture of my kids.  And she speaks, which is huge and asks, "so you have three kids?"

"Yes."

"How old are they?"

"20, 11 and 10".

"wow, my kids (oh my God, plural, I knew she had one, plural) my kids have more than 10 years apart too."

"Kids, I thought you just had one"

"No, my kids are adopted...."

And there it went.  I will not disclose the conversation. 

But, I will tell you.."if you take your troubles to the market...."  Oh My God!!!!!!!!!

And there she stood.  Like a mouse.  Even with her standing and me sitting and her telling this story, she seemed so meek and not mild, passive, dead, anemic. 

And I looked at her in a TOTALLY different light.  She was not anemic.

This girl has fight in her.  And love and compassion.  And determination.  And a huge spirit. 

She has fought for love and goodness and to better other lives.

No wonder she was so quiet at work.  She saved her energy  for home, where it really mattered. 

And once again, there I was with somebody that I never would have imagined, changing my outlook. 

Later Friday night when I was catching up on emails from the day, i reached out to her.  She responded. 

It warmed my heart.  And I was ashamed of myself for such harsh judgement.

I think middle age strips you of patience.  I am determined, after the girl in the cubicle touched my heart, to get it back.