A Birthday Present from Crystal Meth Bev

It is that time of year again, my birthday.  During the last 364 days, I have spent a lot of time thinking about my legacy.  A wicked sense of humor, big boobs and a boisterous laugh is not how I want to be remembered.

The Internet and email is taken.  I think about my Prom Date and how he and his wife lost their son and created a home for veteran's.  Today, I met a woman who is going to be blind, her father already is blind and she has started a resource center for blind people.  Making good banana cake doesn't hold a candle to either.

And it isn't just about contributing, it is about who I end up being.  I want to be a softer, kinder, more understanding person.  I had a conversation with my friend Mary.  Mary is going to be my roommate in the assisted living center.  She said , "maybe it is just an age thing that we want to be more understanding."

Birthday or no Birthday, I want to make a difference.

Today I went to Summer Camp.  I got there early.  I felt like I was cheating on my new  BFF's but I had too.

Great visit. 

Afterward, the elevator opened, and there were two of the three.  The first thing I noticed was Crystal Meth Bev.  She had a bra on her fifth grade like body, she was clean, her hair was fixed and she smiled the biggest grin.  All three teeth were showing. 

The quiet Hispanic lady just smiled.  She asked,"good?"  "Yes," I responded.

CMB says, "what the hell, you always go the second shift?"

"I have to get to an appointment."

"Well, you are not gonna guess what f------ happened to me?"

Okay, she had me.  I had to hear it.

"Let me hear it."

"Well, I read  the my second book in my life, first one was the driver's manual.  I got that book about the baseball player from Raleigh."

"Did you steal the book?"  I had to ask.

"No ass----.  My mama bought it for me.  And I read it.  Not all of it.  But I started it."

You could have knocked me over with a feather.  One, she knew  how to read, two, there was a mother and three, she did it.

"And guess what else, haven't had a drink in four days.  Got my job back and went to a meeting."

 I looked at her and was so stunned I couldn't speak.

She says, "go head, smile, you know you want to, just smile."

I started to laugh.  And then it came out, "I am really proud of you CMB."

She threw her head back and said, "I told my boss you were going to say that."

I had to know, so I asked.  "Why did you get the book?"

"Well, I always wanted kids..  Always.  And then I got one and I was so proud and I loved being a mom and being his mom  and then I just got all caught up in being a responsible and all grown up and working and money  and I just started partying and then my kid started partying and we were all partying and everything was just going to shit and I just kept partying and pretending I was a kid. I need to grow up if I want my kid to grow up.  I used to be proud of him and me, then I just started getting drunk.  If that baseball player can do it, I can too."

"CMB, you have made my day. Go up there, tell your son you love him and you are going to change with him . You can do this CMB." 

She looked in my eyes, and I kind of felt like she was going in for a hug and I panicked a little cause that would have just been too much for me so I asked, "what kind of job did you get?"

"cleaning houses."  OMG, I lost it. 

She looked at me, really looked at me, and said, "thanks for helping me and my kid."

Seriously, I felt like the Grinch on that mountain when he hears the Hoo's singing in Hooville. 

"You are welcome.  Don't drink.  Think about your life."

"You coming next week?"

"Yes CMB, I am coming, and I might have my other kids with me so watch your language."

"F-------- A".  And then she laughed.

During my visit, my son said to me, "I don't want everyone to think I am a screw up.  I am going to make something of myself.  I just needed to grow up MOM, seriously, I needed to grow up."

The day we went to the termination of parental rights hearing for the button's biological dad, my eyes were wide with wonder.  Our attorney said to me, "just because they don't have good dental care or they are not educated, doesn't mean they don't love their kids."  He too knew a CMB.  I have never forgotten that, Franklin either.

I walked to my car under the Carolina blue sky and felt good inside. I felt more understanding. Maybe it was age.  Maybe I too was growing up.  Maybe CMB really was growing up.  Perhaps the button too. 

And maybe my legacy is that I saved one person from their own life. 

That would be okay with me.