GOD

When you sit back and assess you job as a mother, there are always things that could be improved.  When raising the "button", one of the things that I would do over would be GOD.

I am a very spiritual person.  I don't always feel that you need to sit properly in church, every Sunday to believe.  This post is not a religious soapbox, it is just what has happened of late. 

When the "button" was growing up, the only "real" family day that we had was Sunday.  Consequently, church got kicked to the curb.  GOD did not, but the act or worship did.

When the "button" was about nine, he was at Bible school and "the Jonah and the whale thing" came up.  The "button" who still believed in Santa, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy could not and would not digest the "Jonah and the whale thing."  His words.  He just could not let go of Jonah and how this simply could never have happened.  I explained, very simply to him, that with God, all things are possible.

In the last year and half, if I have told him once, I have told him one hundred times, "Quit Fighting God.  He has a different plan for you and you need to follow not Fight."  To no avail I told him this one hundred times.  He refused to listen.

What is it about kids that you can say it and they don't hear it, but someone else can say it and they do?

With the help of Josh Hamilton, the "button" started thinking about GOD.

And, I was at Books a Million they other day and there was a clearance section.  For three dollars, this book had the seven most important things for you life in it.  I didn't even look to see who wrote it, I glanced through it and found about four pages that talked about how nothing good ever came from drugging and drinking.  Sold!. 

We have all heard and experienced folks going to summer camp and seeing the light.  I myself have said the same thing that others have said, "if they believed before, maybe they wouldn't be in this mess" or "replaced one addiction with another."  Been there, thought it,said it.

That was all before my son went to summer camp. 

Anyway, he read the book.  And the Josh Hamliton book.

In a phone conversation this weekend, he says to me that "he has been thinking of this whole God thing and I think that I am starting to understand the God thing.  I don't want to be one of those people that sits here and gets all religious in summer camp but I have had time to think about it and this one book you sent is about Faith and God."

WOW!  Not any mention of Jonah.

I sent my son a letter.  It went a little like this.

"Religion isn't something that you "get".  It is something that you feel, in your heart, in your being.  It is not about going to church every Sunday, it is about what is in your heart.  Your heart directs your being.  It guides you and carries you.  Religion is about knowing that God is with you and He has a plan for you and thus HE guides you.  It is knowing that you are protected.  Look at the sun, the sunbeams and the storm clouds behind them and you will know that someone created these.

You, of all people, should feel God. He has a plan for you and it is big.  You need to pay attention to HIS plan.  There are not coincidences.  They are works from GOD.  GOD has decided that you are not going to be an addict or a law breaker.  This is why you keep getting caught.  You know in your heart that you are not this person.  You just keep fighting GOD and the plan.  There is a reason thought that you have fought.  I don't know what it is, I just know it exists.

I know you won't win if you fight God.  Let go.  Let God.  Let God rule you.  You don't have to put on you Sunday best to feel him, just open up your heart.  Pay attention.  Josh Hamilton will tell you that his life changed when he let God in it.  Books, rehabs and other people will tell you that God can rule you.  Let God in your heart.

I always wanted to be a mom.  When my first marriage ended, so did my chance to become at motherhood.  And then your dad came but he already had two grown daughters.  Why would he want to start over?  As much as I loved him, I loved the thought of being a mom more.  When you came, God answered my life long prayer.  He sent you to me.  He knew you would need someone more stubborn than you.  He knew that you needed someone who wouldn't give up and He knew that you need more than the usual amount of guidance and conviction.  He answered mine, I will answer HIS.  You have been one of God's gifts to me and I will not stop.  You want to fight God, that means fighting me too.  Let's quit fighting and start living, in a positive light.

I start my day, everyday, with a prayer.  Sometimes it is on the treadmill, in the car, wherever.  Bad things happen to good people.  Great things happen to good people after they get through the bad.  Josh Hamilton is the perfect example.  He changed his habits, he opened up his  heart to God. 

We can do this.  Your life will turn around.  All you need to do is open up your heart.  That is fair.  This is God's plan.