dysfunctional greeting cards

For years, I have asked my friends if they wanted to start a line of dysfunctional greeting cards with me.  I never did it and I have heard that there is such a line now.  I haven't seen them.

Last week, I stood in the Hallmark for hours.  Hours.  Seriously, hours.  It was like that first Valentine's day right after you start dating someone and you have to pick the "perfect" card.  It cannot be too mushy, can't say the "L" word, cannot be too romantic but cannot be too sarcastic.  We have all been there.  This was me, Goldilocks.   Goldilocks looking for the card that was "just right."

Today is the "button's" 19 birthday.  Seriously, there are not cards for those in the corrections facilities.  "Hey, hope you get a cake with a saw in it" or "If somebody does jump out of your cake, hope they have the keys to your cell."  It was brutal. 

Years ago, when I was interviewing for a job, the interview was on a weekend and my birthday.  You cannot go into a job interview saying, "hey, today is my birthday."  I was states away, alone, didn't know a soul and it was before cell phones.  No cake, no candles, no nothing.  I told myself that night in that nasty Comfort Inn that I would always have cake on my b day and if I knew someone who didn't have anyone to celebrate with, I would be the birthday fairy.

Foreshadowing.  Hello.  Hate foreshadowing.  So, today is my son's birthday, regardless of his age, he is alone, no cake, no song, no candles and I cannot imagine anything worse.  A summer camp Birthday. Ugh.

My grandma always said that when company shows up, you wave a little.  When company leaves, you wave your arms off.  That is exactly how I feel about the "button's" 18th year.  Goodbye.

If I could write a line of dysfunctional cards, here is an example.

Hey cousin, nice seeing you at the family reunion.  Best part of the visit,it was nice seeing that Size 0 brides get chunky too.

Seriously, I would love to send one of those.

In the end, I chose Snoopy and Woodstock.  You can never wrong with those two.  It simply said, "it is your birthday.  Celebrate life." 

In the end, even when life is ugly,sad, dark or broken, Celebrate Life.  Isn't that really what it is all about?