When I was 58 weeks pregnant with Walker, I waddled into my appointment and said, "take this baby out, today. I don't care if a goat comes out, get it out of me."
My doctor looked at me and said, "be careful what you wish for. Once they come out, the real work starts and they are much more safe inside than outside."
I have never forgotten that statement.
Tuesday night we had our second Town Hall Meeting. It was so well attended.
There was one mother there that said something I will never forget. "Look at me, I used to be cute but this thing with my son has made me ugly." I could so relate. One time after visiting the "button", I commented to Franklin that he "didn't look himself."
Franklin replied, "have you looked at yourself lately?" He wasn't being mean.
When you bring that baby home, getting a shower is an accomplishment and you don't care what you look like. You are in love. You rock your baby and sing and enjoy your baby second by second.
And then they grow up.
From now on when I get invited to a Baby Shower, I am giving an egg timer as a gift. Set the sucker daily for fifteen minutes and spend fifteen minutes per day with your child, from the beginning to the end. Doesn't sound like much but fifteen uninterrupted minutes when they are 15, 16, 17 and 18 is HUGE. And so important.
This mother was, well, nicely put, a hot mess. I realized that was me in October. I remember my friend asking me at a school function, "are you okay?". "No. I am not okay", was my answer. I too was a hot mess and not in a good way. She scheduled a night out with me and I couldn't even go.
It was at that moment on Tuesday night when she said, "i used to be cute" that I realized (duh) that this is a process. I have told my son that one hundred times but it never hit me, really hit me, that motherhood is a process too. Growing up is a process and so is motherhood.
You have to be brought to your knees to get stronger. Your heart is a muscle too. You have to work it out constantly and keep making it stronger and stronger and stronger...keep adding weight to it to get it stronger. When you fall to your knees, you need to start working out and adding weight again to get you through the process.
She will get there. I got there. My friends who lost their children got there. It is a process.
Sometimes I wish I could have a giant "do over" with my kids...one big Micheal J. Fox Back to the Future do over.
I would change a few things. But there is no damn "do over", just in kickball. Once those kids or goats come out, game on!
So just like that mom and her son, my family and I will learn the process and get through it. It will be a blessing. When I get to the old folk's home and my kids come for the obligatory monthly visit, we will have the best stories to tell the other guests. For sure.
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