Dumb mothers

I started my day in usual fashion.  Breakfast, lunches in book bags, kitchen clean up, animals fed and cared for, and after fifty other things, I left for work.


The morning drive was typical.
What happened next was not typical.


A newspaper ad about the task force was published in the paper.


I spent 32 years in the radio business telling others that nobody reads the paper, this is true.  Unless of course, your name is in the newspaper.


My phone and my email blew up today.  Blew up.


What was so "not typical" of my day was that mothers have all of the sudden come out of the woodwork defending themselves to me.  Or, they go the opposite way, "I am aware, I am so on top of my kids. I know what is going on."


Really?  Really?


Did you know that kids are sticking bottles of booze up their anuses and using alcohol like an enema to get drunk faster without mom's smelling the booze?  Didn't think you knew that.


Did you know that girls are taking tampons and soaking them in vodka and them inserting them for the same reasons?  Or did you know that half the fun at parties now is when you let a guy insert it for you?


I am 50 1/2 years old.  I have NEVER been so desperate for a buzz that I would use a booze enema.  Never.


Look, nobody needs to defend or explain a thing to me.  I only care about what goes on at my street address with MY family.  That is it.  I am not the perfect woman, parent, wife or friend.  I am just a middle aged chick trying to figure it all out as I go with a few laughs along the way.  I just started a task force so that parents who were scared to death could say,"okay, we are not alone. "


To those moms who think they know it all, the picture above is for you.  Kids are kids.  When they are out of your sight, they do crazy things.  I did things my mom still doesn't know about and I hope like hell she never does.  She just had a stroke reading this so I guess I am off the hook.  


Parents, open your eyes and look.  There are Tobacco Shops opening on every corner.  Yet, cigarette smoking is down.  Why are the stores opening up?


Demi Moore smokes Spice and convulses.  Spice is the same thing your kids are smoking that doesn't show up on drug tests.  Look what it did to her and she is a PARENT!


If I have learned one thing as a parent, never say "not my kid."  And, I have also learned, "I really don't know what my kid is doing when out of my sight, I just hope it is legal and respectful."