silent epidemic,part two

I have heard this a million times, "they are going to drink anyway so I am just going to let them do it at our house."  Really now?

My second favorite, "they are going to have sex anyway, so, why not here?"

Are you kidding me?  Seriously? 

If you knew that giving a kid a beer or a cigarette would make them addicted, would you give it to him? 

How about this one, "I know they are all going to try cocaine so I went and got it for them to try here."  Chances are you wouldn't buy the cocaine so why buy the beer?  Or the Pot?

When we were kids, my cousin S was about 13 and in middle school.  I was 11, my cousin J was 10, my brother was 7 and my other cousin was about 5.  My grandmother sat us around the pool and said,"you kids are getting older and going to middle school and stuff and people are going to want you to smoke cigarettes.  So, have your first with me.  My oldest cousin gagged.  So did I.  So did the other two cousins.  My 7 year old brother blew smoke rings. 

We have told this story 100000 times over the years and really, what the hell was mamaw thinking?

Never, ever, ever, does an addict or a smoker wake up and say, "this is the day I become an alcoholic or this is the day I get so addicted to smoking that I am going to die later of lung cancer." 

What the hell is wrong with the parents who lock a bunch of underage kids in a room and let them drink, smoke pot and have sex all night?  Seriously.  Do they ever say, "know you are broke and don't like to work so take my keys and go rob a bank?"

And, what is wrong the people who harbor runaways for days and weeks and never call the parents?  After the "button" had runaway in April, apparently he lived with a family for about fifteen days.  The mother never called, nothing.  After he was gone from there and came back home, she called me.  Never identified herself.  But, she had my number.  She called to tell me that she thought the "button" had stolen something from her.  "Really, and you had my number this whole time and I didn't hear from you."  "No", she replied.  "Well then, you reap what you sow" and I hung up.

Two years ago when the "button" began his running away or sneaking out, he was supposed to be at work.  Franklin just happened to go to the store where he worked.  He didn't show up at work, our car was there, unlocked with his apron in it.  Yes, we did what everybody would have done, we panicked.  I showed up where all the kids "hang out" and asked if anyone had seen him or knew where he was.  "Oh, no, have no I idea...haven't seen him, don't know where he is, we will call you if you see him...blah blah blah."

Well, I waited and stood behind a column and sure enough, here comes the "button" to hang out with this group at the eatery.  We live in a tourist destination.   I can  assure you that what happened next is not in the tourism video.  Remember, I have no idea where my kid is and have no idea if he is in the back of a van on his way to Venezuela to become a sex slave or if he is even safe.  The mother lioness was angry. I burst into the eatery and there they all were, laughing at me.  I went bizerk.  While I don't remember everything, I explained to those kids that someday, someone very near and dear to them will be missing or their whereabouts not known and they will have the pit in their stomachs that I had and I sincerely hope that NO ONE will ever treat them the way I was just treated.  And, as I passionately exclaimed, "Karma is a bitch, I can assure you."  I wasn't mild mannered or soft spoken either.  As I was stomping out in disgust, two elderly couples who were eating their banana splits, clapped.

Later, one of the kids mother, she called me.  She didn't appreciate me yelling at her son.  "Really, sorry to hear that.  I didn't appreciate your son lying to me.  I am an elder and he lied.  Had he not lied, I wouldn't have yelled.  Now, go have this conversation with your son."

The most frustrating part of this situation with "the button" has been the lies, the sneaking and the plotting. Not just him, all of his friends. 

When I was in high school, I was on the swim team.  My nails were soft.  My dear friend and I split a bottle of gelatin capsules.  We each got 100.  We were going to have the greatest nails by the time school started.  We were psyched. 

One day, Mrs. C calls me and tells me to get to her house ASAP.  I get there and she has a look on her face that would have frozen fire.  She takes me back into the bedroom, sits me down beside J and the other daughter, MS, and she begins with how disappointed she was in us, she thought we were "good" girls and her heart was crushed.  Seriously, we did not make eye contact and I knew I hadn't done anything but this woman was devastated.  Then, she whipped out the bag.  There they were, pink and lovely, all 100 of them...Gelatin capsules.

Luckily, we were in the clear.  Sally Hansen fans with hard, lovely, long nails.

Even if they had been something else, I could never have lied to that woman.  Never.

If one more person under the age of 20 lies to me, I will vomit on their feet.

Again, nobody talks about it.

Where is the character, the leadership and the kids who look at someone and say, "dude, you are in enough trouble, do you really think this is cool?"   

Not all but a ton of the "button's" troubles came from sneaking out in the middle of the night.  Franklin and I have been possums for two years, coming to life at night, especially Friday and Saturday.  Just waiting for the get away around 2am.  Isn't that what Red Bulls are for? 

One morning, Franklin and I caught six kids (one being ours) sneaking back into our neighborhood at 6am ish...so, five kids to the "dipping" in the middle of the night.  When we made them pull over and take the keys, "they were just driving around".  Yeah, teenagers LOVE getting up that early for no reason to drive around.  This wasn't even a GOOD lie.


Please do not misunderstand...I am not blaming ANYONE for my child's troubles.

What I am saying is we need  less drugs, drinking and sneaking out. We need kids who are NOT CONSUMED WITH PARTYING.   We need character and we need leadership.  We need it quickly.

We need parents to start getting authentic and real and for them to be involved and to participate in their kids lives.  "You cannot expect what you don't inspect."

Abe Lincoln or George Washington were both young men when they truths that made them honorable men.  We need more gelatin capsules, cherry trees and pennies.  Quickly.