Off to see the Wizard!

After the Five Guys Feast, the "button" was whisked out of the county, Casey Anthony style, minus the protesters.

With a quick visit with Franklin, "the button", Walker, Addie and I headed to the Land of Oz.  You know, the yellow brick road, "if I only had a brain", land of flying monkeys, REHAB.

We  were off to Rehab.  Voluntary Rehab.  Not court ordered, voluntary.

Why did Franklin stay behind?  Great question.  "It is about the "button", not you.  We don't care about, you won't get a tour and we are not into getting to know you, only the "button."  If two parents are in the car with one child, there is a greater chance to "attack" the child and you don't want to drop him off in the Land of Oz angry.  Oh, and don't talk on the trip, just listen."  The rules and suggestions  via the "intake" representative.

Not sure why it was decided that I be the quiet driver, but off we went.

My kids are not good car riders.  In fact, they are the worst. 

This trip they were angels.  No "he touched me", "he looked out my window" or "her feet stink".  Delightful.  They shared watched movies and talked.

The "button" very rarely stopped talking if the movie wasn't playing.  And yes, the talk was about summer camp.  Walker an Addie asked every question you could think of and he answered them.  Now, you can tell your kids something one hundred times and they don't remember, sing a dirty song like the "diarrhea song" and they have it down first time.  That is pretty much how the summer camp question and answer period went.  My two kids are now correctional facility experts.

And finally, when the little ones dozed off, the big question came from him to me, "Mom, I am going to ask dad this too but how can I repay you for this?"

"Complete the program"

"No kidding, what else?"

"Pick a kick ass nursing home for me, going to need it.  Miss Mary wants to be my roomie.  We want happy hour daily, I want a Hallmark occasionally and fresh cut flowers weekly.  And, I want you to remember this moment then cause I won't."

He smiled.

We checked in to a hotel and for the first time since June, all my kids were in bed under the same roof as me.  In the morning, they were still there.  Wow.  I was happy.

And then, in the strangest twist of ironic fate, I let the "button" and Walker go drive the car to the front of the hotel while I checked out.

As soon as the car came around the corner, I knew something was wrong.  The "button" was pale as good be.  He jumps out of the car and says, "we have been robbed, the car was broken into".

How ironic is this?  In less than 24 hours after getting OUT of summer camp, the "button" is filing a police report and giving a statement to the police.  Hilarious.  Sorry, but seriously, how funny is this?

Apparently a 13, 14 and 16 trio stole a car, then stole Walker's new back-to-school backpack and filled it with stolen GPS systems, filmed their adventure, jumped out of a moving vehicle and let the car crash into a parked one.  13!  Are you kidding me?  Why wasn't she at home watching Selena Gomez of the Justin Beiber movie.  This story will be retold by my kids for the next 20 years and I can tell you, when the policeman pulled out sunglasses and fingerprinted them, all three of them went crazy. 

I feel badly for the parents who answered those phone calls that night from the police.   The beginning.

Anyway, the "button" was stunned at how nice police could be when you are the victim.  The policeman was impressed with how mannerly and "mature" the "button was to him.  "Nice young man you have there Mrs. G."  If he only knew the story.  If he only knew what I was doing 24 hours earlier.  If he only knew how scared the "button" was when he said the word "fingerprints".

Anyway, after the police left we were on our way. 

And as the exits signs decreased in numbers, the "button" and Walker seemed to grow more anxious.

Right before we approached the exit ramp, I announced how proud I was of them this trip and how much fun we had on our adventure and how much money the resturants we ate at lost ( all you can eat places are no match for the my  kids)  and how proud I was of being their mom.  I wanted all trips to be this nice. 

By the time I finished my heartfelt speech, we were there.  The Land of Oz.