Friday, March 21, 2014

The Fortune Cookie

The last couple weeks have been filled with harsh reality that my babies are turning into people.  People in puberty. 

And I have also been hit in the face that these babies are independent thinkers and "want to do it " their way.

Santa brought Walker a cell phone.  I mentioned to him that he needed to really think about who he wanted to have his number.  "Oh mom, it is all good."  Yeah, I have heard that before.  So, I kept my mouth shut.

Earlier this week, I could hear his phone going off and he did not respond.  Imagine, a pre-pubescent not responding to a cell phone.  Immediately, the alarms went off.

"Hey buddy, everything ok?  You are not answering your phone."

"Yeah, these stupid girls just call me constantly.  They are like " are you ok, are you mad, are you breaking up with the girlfriend, is everything good and blah, blah, and blah.  I get so tired of them calling and texting me.  I NEVER should have given my number out."

Chalk one up for mom.

Addie had, key word had, the "never shaved my legs before monkey hair" all over her legs.  The deal was, once summer/spring hit, she could shave her legs.  "But, it is not that glamorous, once you start, you cannot stop."  Well,  I have been shaving my legs for 43 years and I didn't know what I was talking about.  She told me that I didn't know what I was talking about.

I remember it like it was yesterday.  I begged.  I too had the monkey hair on me legs.  I wanted it off.  And, when my mom FINALLY consented, she said, "You will be sorry."

I ran up those stairs.  I drew the bath and climbed in.  Now remember, this was 1972.  I used my dad's razor, the heavy gold one, that you turned the bottom and it opened or closed the compartment up to put the new razor in.  I lathered up my legs with soap, like I had seen my mom do, and went for it. 

What nobody ever mentioned was how lightly you needed to press on the razor.  I pressed that razor down so hard on my shin that I stripped off the biggest piece of skin you have ever seen.  Still have the scar to this day.  The bathroom looked like a Hitchcock crime scene, my mom put a towel on my leg, I was screaming, naked, hysterical and the blood kept coming and my mom kept saying, "I told you would be sorry."  Sympathy was never her strong point.

After the blood stopped, she showed me how to do it and the monkey hair was successfully removed.  And I have had to shave my legs everyday since the crime scene day.  Yes, I was sorry.

So, a few weeks ago,  Addie and I were off to a baby shower.  She wore her favorite short skirt.  Along with her super pale, bruised legs, the monkey hair really did stand out.  "Mom, please can I shave today?"

"Yes, but you will be sorry.  Hold on a minute".   I wanted to help her.  The crime scene whipped into my head and I was not prepared for blood, flesh and a tourniquet.

Well, she got the green light and she went for it, and didn't listen.

She shaved her legs for the first time without any soap, shaving cream, water, nothing.  The first two minutes were euphoric.

The next two hours were hell.  She had to apply so much lotion to get rid of the dryness I thought she would slide off the seat in the car.

At the shower, she won a prize, hand lotion.  She grabbed that lotion and reapplied.

They are growing up.  I am happy, sad and scared.  A normal path of emotions for any mom.

Earlier this week, I brought home Chinese food.  There has been little mention of the "button" lately. 

Until the fortune cookie that my daughter got.

She read it and then said, "this Chinese man who wrote this must know the "button".  This is his fortune."

She handed it to me and I smiled and threw up in my mouth at the same time.  

She was correct.  The "Chinese man" was also correct. This fortune applied to all of my babies. I just wish that I would have gotten a fortune cookie that said, "Relax mom.  It will ALL be okay."

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