A mom, a daughter and a funeral

Last week, a mother was driving her car with her two kids in the rain and crossed over the center lane.  The car in the other lane,hit the mom's car.  The little girl in the backseat was killed.  She was six.  The little boy, two, is still in the hospital.  The little girl will not be buried until her brother is well enough to attend the funeral.

The mother, a 25 year old woman will not be attending the funeral.  She is residing in summer camp.

How awful.  How horrible.  How sad.  A six year old little girl killed by her own mother, a result of a DWI.

How sad that the little guy loses his sister and his mom. 

And how sad that this is NOT the mom's only DWI.  Her first was with the little guy.  He survived.  The mom just side swiped the guard rail that night.

And how sad is it that the parents of the mother knew she had a substance abuse problem. 

I am not passing any judgement.  Not today.  Two years ago, my Yankee mind and mouth would have gone crazy discussing this sad story.  Today, I view it differently.  Maybe it is age, maybe it is the past two years but I am so sad about this situation.  I am so sad that a little girl died.  I am so sad that a little guy lost his sister.  And I am so sad that a mom had people around her that knew she had a problem and couldn't get her to understand she had a problem.  Until now.  Until a little girl died. 

If that little girl had not died, I wonder what would have happened?  I wonder what would have been next?  And I keep thinking about that mother.  Strangely and sadly, I keep thinking about her.  Her addiction has cost her the ultimate sacrifice.

And I pray there were not people with her, who knew she had been drinking and let her get in that car. 

And I pray for the the mother's parents.  They knew their daughter had a drug and alcohol problem. They knew.  And now they don't have a grand daughter, their grandson is in the hospital and their daughter will more than likely serve time. A lot of time.  I heard that the little guy will go into foster care.  My heart breaks for them.  

I just feel that while they never saw this coming, they  knew in their hearts, their daughter was headed for heartache.

And, it wasn't just a DWI, there were prescription drugs.  

Today, I went to see the "button."

I had not been there in weeks.  Have I mentioned that "no matter how many times you go, you are not prepared."  

My son and I had a great visit.  And he asked me, "Mom, did you hear about that mother who killed her little girl with a DWI?"  

And then he said it, "and it wasn't her first one, her first one was with her son and how crazy that THAT didn't make her get it."

Hollywood couldn't have scripted it better.  

And then I said it, "as hard as it is to come here and see you, in this place, in orange, at least I see you and that I am not putting flowers on your grave.  Here is what I know, that would have been you or one of your friends.  And it would have been so crazy.  And that son, is the story of addiction.  You have put yourself in here how many times?  You knew what it was like here, but, you came back.  You never thought it would end up that way, but it did, several times."

"Button, that mother, even after her first DWI with her son, didn't believe that anything else would happen to her.  Even that first DWI with her son was not scary enough to make her stop.  Her drugs was all she really cared about.  Not the consequences, the drugs."


For some reason, I was shocked that he new about it.  I don't know if it was water cooler talk at summer camp or if maybe he was upset about it too.  

We had a great visit.  And we have a plan.  And the plan doesn't include drugs, alcohol or funerals.  And, I am good with that.