Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Life's Little Instructions #318

The other day when I was cleaning some random bathroom, I noticed the book, Life's Little Instructions.


I picked it up and read through it.  Although I have read this book several times, I felt compelled to take a few and glance through it again.  There it was, #318.  "Never pass judgement until you have heard both sides of the story."


The other day, I was waiting to pick up the kids when I realized I was early, time change and all.  So, I went into a new shop that opened in our town.


As I walked in, I was greeted by a woman behind the counter and another lady on the other side both drinking their Dunkin Donut coffee engrossed in a huge conversation.


It went something like this, "and I heard that they haven't even been to visit him, 30 days in jail and they haven't been to see him, a young boy like that".  Now, let's be honest, even if I wasn't in the situation that I am now, I am sure that my ears would perk up...now...they were at attention.


"Yeah, I mean what do they expect him to learn there, it cannot be good and to not visit him or to not get him out.  He will NEVER be able to go to college and his brilliant WRESTLING career is GOODBYE." 


Okay, I couldn't believe it.  I mean, we live in a small town and while I don't know these women, I am convinced they are discussing  my situation.  I am not 100% sure but come on now.


And it went on..."I mean what are they teaching their other children, that you can bail (no pun intended I am sure)on your kid after they make a mistake.


And so I did what every other woman would have done, I said nothing.  I know, eighth wonder of the world, right?


Instead, I wrote me name down on a piece of paper, along with my phone number and went to the counter.  I asked about some piece of furniture and wanting it in another color.  Of course she didn't have it so I handed her the paper and said, "well, here is my name and number and if you get it in that color, please call."


I walked out with my shoulders back, my head held high and the twinkle of the bells behind me. 


What I really wanted to do was say, "Hey, you behind the counter in a retail shop, are you an antiques dealer or a social/substance abuse advisor who needed a second job?  Did you ever get your doctorate in psychology?  Do you EVEN KNOW my kid?  And, did you even make one thing in here or did you buy it at an auction since you are so smart?"


But, I didn't. 


I thought about if 100 times.  Per day.  Times seven days.  About 700 times.  I should go back and give her the book with only #318 in it.


And of course, I thought, are we doing the right thing for the "button."


And then the dreaded phone call came.  I have been DREADING WRESTLING SEASON.  I have been dreading facing people, I have been dreading the questions, I have been dreading the stares and the whispers but more than all of that, I have been dreading the smell of the wrestling room, the smell of sweaty wrestlers and the excitement of the season.  I KNEW it would make me miss my son, miss seeing my immaculate son doing what he loves so much and being so good at it, and I would miss the hope and promise that wrestling brought to our family. 


I got the call, "would you help and wait till you see the new wrestling room."


Sure, I want to help.  My ENTIRE family has benefited from wrestling but thank goodness we are going to a football game to get out of helping with one event.  But, I still had to take Walker to the new wrestling building.  I still had to face people. 



And I did it.  I was truly happy the boys had such a nice, new facility and I was greeted with smiles and genuine affection.  It was painless.  I dropped off the boys and wondered where the year had gone.  Just last year the button was a senior and so excited about being a captain of the team and his goals and how important the season would be to his future.

Wow.

I made the drop off and the connection with no tears or sadness in my heart, okay, maybe there was a little disappointment.  But, I did it.  But more importantly, I realized that those who know us best, have read #318, "Never pass judgement until you have heard both sides of the story."

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