Tuesday, January 6, 2015

it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Life, It really does matter

it wasn't supposed to be this way but...: Life, It really does matter: In our sleepy beach town, decorated for Christmas with lighted sea shells and candy canes, the unthinkable happened. Word traveled quickly...

Life, It really does matter

In our sleepy beach town, decorated for Christmas with lighted sea shells and candy canes, the unthinkable happened.

Word traveled quickly that a young man from our tiny, sleepy beach town had been beaten, by his peers and left on a dock on a cold night.  

Words and stories.  More words and stories.

And then the final word.  James did not survive.

A very young man, 26, would no longer being wearing Reefs and breathing salt air.

And again, more words and stories.

Four young men arrested and charged with taking the life of their peer.  

And again, more words.

I have no idea what happened that night.  I don't care.  It doesn't change anything.

It doesn't matter how he died.  It only matters that he did die.

It only matters that the sun will not  shine down on his face again.  Or his lips will not sport a smile.

 It only matters that his twin brother will forever have a hole in his heart.

Or that his parents will begin the dreadful process of living without their son.  

And the parents of the four boys also begin new lives...the life after the incident.

Together, people that might not even know one another, start new, intertwined, painful lives because of the loss of another.

  I have heard the stories from moms about changing James' diapers, the smile always on his face, his years in boy scouts and his general sweet personality.

In a world of "friends" and "likes", when did we stop liking one another?  When did we stop caring and stop loving?  I have seen social media posts about "liking guinea pigs", liking snowy nights and free shipping.   Why don't we start liking ONE another?

And why can't we stand up, without fear and say, "I don't like the way you treated that person, can you try to be kind?  Can you speak with words instead of fists?  Can you go to work and do your job without fearing the worst?  Can you learn from the actions of others?

Why can't we value life?

And why can't we take the smile from James and let it be the symbol to move us forward with kindness?  Why can't we start to comprehend how precious each life is and what each person has to offer.  And why can't we speak with kindness?

I have thought of this family that I have never met for days.  And the mom.  I just cannot quit thinking of the mom or the twin.  And the other mothers.The mothers of the four boys.    None of them, I am certain, were horrible mothers.  And that all of these mothers loved their sons.  All of the lives are now changed, forever.

In this massive tragedy, the focus needs to be on something positive.  Something that will move us toward HOPE and believing in the human spirit again.  James, and his smile need to be that torch.  One lady said, "he was just kind".  

Let kindness lead the way.  Like one another, not "like" another.  Look into some one's eyes and see the good and positive in all people.  When you don't know what to say, smile.  Let the person you may or may not have known, guide you to kindness.  Let James and his kind spirit lead you to kindness.

And may you know that life does matter.  James mattered.  And kindness matters.  The golden rule.  

Go forth in peace in kindness.  Celebrate James.